As much as I'd like to be one of those moms that loves holidays for all the extra time they get with their kids, let's be honest here, I'm not. I'm cranky and irritable and constantly feeling like I'm running behind. Running behind at what? I don't even know. Running behind at catching up maybe.
This is not me complaining, really. I'm just writing to process how I'm feeling, so I can make this work better next time. Or maybe even
In a normal week, I barely feel as though I'm balancing everything. On a holiday week, I still have to balance almost all the same stuff, but I also
The answer is the same as for almost any other mommy problem I have faced: I have to get ahead and stay ahead of them. I have to parent proactively instead of reactively. I know it's the answer, but how do I do it? And where do I find the energy to do it?
I guess by the time I get it all figured out, it won't be necessary anymore. They will be busy with their own lives and I will have plenty of time to catch up on my stuff. Right now, I just don't have the foresight or the energy to always stay ahead and keep ahead of them. Again, I face the fact that I just can't do this perfectly.
And so, I have to be ok with just muddling through it. I need to give myself grace to have bad
(While I'm being honest here, I might as well say that I just can't find the right way to end this one. My heart is still raw from frustration at yet another day of not getting it right. This mommy thing is hard and I just want so badly to do it well. If it feels like I left it just hanging, it's because that's how it feels to me...)
I would imagine it is very difficult to entertain small children all day long when you normally have time to wash dishes, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. It seems much more time consuming to do that with 3 children instead of 1. I've been married to Chris/step-parenting for 2 years and in their lives for approximately 3. In that small amount of time, I've noticed a sort of freedom with the ages they are now (11 and 9). I don't have to wake up with them to monitor because they can make their own cereal and entertain themselves with TV or the iPad until I'm ready to get out of bed. Once I do get out of bed, they are still pretty independent. The only thing I HAVE to do is make them lunch and dinner (which isn't so bad because I have to make it for myself, too). I guess I'm saying that I think it gets better? I don't know for sure because I didn't raise them from birth so I don't know what it's like from baby to toddler to small child stages. Thanks for sharing! I, too, write to understand what I'm even feeling...
ReplyDeleteYes, Natalie, you are right. It does get easier. And Ronee, you never get caught up or ahead. I suppose you could if you never stopped to take a break for yourself. Parenting IS hard work, and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't have kids. My mom gave me advice early on that has been invaluable. She shared that while she has six little ones at home she would pray that God would blind her eyes to the things that weren't important that day and open them clearly to those that were. I guess the point is perspective, and grace. Perspective on things that truly matter (even if the house is in shambles for a day or two because it's Spring break and a game of connect four is more important than laundry for the moment). And grace to give yourself some slack and cook grilled cheese for dinner because you are all out of steam (hey, our kids have had popcorn and ice cream for dinner before!). Thanks for being real, Ronee. You are not alone in your mommy-struggles, some are just better at faking it. Love you, sweets!
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