I've still got one baby

If you are feeling bad for me, with my baby boy growing up so fast, I want to reassure you that I've still got one baby.

I'll let you take a peek at her, but sssshhhhhh! I think she's sleeping.

Perhaps it's time to get her a new car seat?

(Just in case you are from child protective services and don't have a sense of humor, I'm SO kidding!)

100 things you may not know about me

As this is my 100th post, and because I like rules (even if they are imaginary), I am reposting my updated 100 things list. Yep, that's right. Re-posting. Because when I was new, I didn't realize it was supposed to be posted to celebrate my 100th post (and yes, I'm aware that the rules are imaginary... I like rules that much). And I apologize to those who have followed me from the beginning. I like you, but I also like the newbies.... and I really like rules.

1. My real name is not Peanut.
2. I'm fast approaching 30.
3. 30 really isn't as old as I used to think it was.
4. My favourite color is blue.
5. My best girlfriend's favourite color is blue.
6. I took french-immersion until the end of grade 9.
7. I gave it up because I felt lost in the school and wanted to go to school with my friends
8. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made!
9. I graduated as the "Top Academic Student" and "Top All-Around Student" in high school.
10. Both awards came as a complete shock to me!
11. I won enough scholarships/bursaries to pay for my first two years of University.
12. I started out doing a chemistry degree with the intention of going to medical school.
13. I realized that a career in medicine was not going to allow me to have the family life I desired.
14. I transferred to the nursing program.
15. I've been an RN for 5 years.
16. Nursing is my calling.
17. My work is incredibly challenging, but also very fulfilling.
18. I work with some great people, who care a lot about their patients.
19. I'm married to my best friend.
20. His real name is not Peanut-lover.
21. We've been married for over 6 years.
22. We met at University.
23. When he first saw me, I was wearing an orange shirt.
24. When I first saw him, he was wearing a red shirt.
25. We both still own those shirts, but he refuses to wear his (even though he still looks HOT in it!)
26. When he first saw me, I was reading the book "Finding the Love of your life". True story.
27. The evening after he first saw me, he told his friends that he'd found the girl he was going to marry.
28. They asked what my name was. He didn't know, so they called me Natasha.
29. Natasha is not my real name.
30. After a few weeks of stalking me seeing me around school, he got brave and sent a friend over to meet me.
31. Shortly after we first met, I told him that I was going to marry someone else.
32. I even showed him a picture of that someone else.
33. I didn't marry someone else.
34. Peanut-lover and I hung out at school for about 2 months before we started dating.
35. We dated for almost a year, then he proposed.
36. He was planning on waiting till our one-year anniversary to propose.
37. But once he picked up the ring, he freaked out and proposed within hours.
38. I knew he was going to propose soon, but I didn't think he had the ring yet.
39. We had picked out the ring together, then he left me in the car to talk about financing.
40. He told me they didn't do financing, so we'd have to wait.
41. I'm really naive.
42. He had purchased the ring that day.
43. He proposed with a ring.
44. I was too caught up with how pretty it was to cry.
45. I meant to cry.
46. We got married in May because I love the spring.
47. We got married one week after my final exams.
48. I skipped a week of Nursing school for my honeymoon.
49. It was worth it!
50. Peanut-lover is nearing the completion of his PhD.
51. In Neuroscience.
52. His educational life itself is old enough to drink alcohol, even in the States.
53. He uses a lot of really big words.
54. I have mild scoliosis. My spine twists to the right between my shoulder blades and to the left in the middle of my back.
55. Even though it is mild, my scoliosis causes me a lot of pain. I do physio and special exercises regularly.
56. I had part of my tailbone surgically removed 9 years ago. The coccyx part.
57. I keep it in a jar of formaldehyde. I'm that weird.
58. We purchased our first home 4 years ago.
59. When we first moved in, we kept "losing" each other in all the space.
60. Now we keep losing each other under all our stuff.
61. We live in 900 sq. ft.
62. It requires a lot of organization to have 4 people in such small quarters.
63. I don't want to have to clean more than 900 sq. ft of home.
64. I don't want to have to chase children in more than 900 sq. ft of home.
65. I have a 3-year-old daughter.
66. Her name is not KK.
67. She is obsessed with the doodlebops.
68. I spent the last 7 weeks of my pregnancy with her on bedrest.
69. I developed pre-eclampsia at 36 weeks and had to be induced at 38 weeks.
70. My labor was 2.5 hours long.
71. I had a difficult recovery which involved many nurse visits and one emerg visit.
72. I breast-fed KK for almost 21 months.
73. I was already pregnant when she and I weaned.
74. I have a 10-month-old son.
75. His name is not JJ.
76. I first felt him move when I was 9 weeks pregnant. He's that active!
77. I spent the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy with him on bedrest.
78. I developed pre-eclampsia at 35 weeks.
79. He was delivered without induction at 38 weeks.
80. My labor was 6 hours long.
81. He and I came home six hours after he was born.
82. It was much easier to recover at home, with my family to care for me.
83. I thought of getting pregnant again just so that I could hang out with my midwives more.
84. It was just the hormones.
85. I'm on maternity leave until January 2009.
86. I have only thought about work twice since I've been off.
87. I will be returning for one shift/weekend.
88. I enjoy being at home with my kids.
89. I enjoy managing our home.
90. I enjoy cooking great meals for my family.
91. I love ethnic foods, especially Indian, Korean, and Mexican.
92. I love photography.
93. I keep about 100-200 good photos a month.
94. I dream about taking some photography courses.
95. I dream about buying a DSLR camera. One day...
96. I'm a homebody and find it very difficult to get out of the house, especially with two kids!
97. I am very shy and hate having attention drawn to me.
98. When I try to speak out in a group setting, the words come out in the wrong order, or occasionally upside-down.
99. It is an endless source of frustration for me because I actually have things I want to say.
100. Hence the blog.

You guys have got my back, right?

I did something really crazy this morning you guys. Something I've been thinking about doing for a little while. But it's something I can't undo. See if you can figure out what I did.

OK, here's KK a couple of days ago:

And here's KK this morning (she refused to pose for a picture, so I'm showing you two):

Yep! I cut her hair! Aaaacccckkkk! Maybe a little shorter than I had planned?

I'm going to be in so much trouble when her daddy gets home.

But it was time, right guys?! And it looks really cute now, right?! You've got my back if daddy's upset, m'kay?

(And yes, she dresses like that every day)

He's how old???

Yesterday, Peanut-lover told someone that JJ was 10 months old. I corrected him and told him that JJ was barely 9 months and to quit rounding up his age! He then pointed out to me that he was actually only days away from being 10 months old.

10 months old!

10 months old?

When did that happen?

Anyone?

I just put away my maternity clothes (well most of them). I just realized that I'm not freshly post-partum anymore. I just realized that I'm not nursing him 8-12 times a day anymore.

Can I get off this super fast ride? I'd be a little more comfortable with something more the pace of a merry-go-round. Please???

----------------------------

JJ has a few things he wants to show off...

We've been working really hard on these:

Count 'em, there's four teeth in there now!

While I was uploading pictures, this was going on in my bathroom:

Typical baby picture. The funny thing is how he got to the toilet paper:

Yep, he pulled himself up on the stool. Funniest part of my day, hands down!

Here comes the bride...

For the past few days, KK has been running around the house, excitedly preparing to get married. She's got the dress, the tiara, and the flowers. She's all set.

She's even got the man. I guess she's not getting married to daddy anymore. Now she tells me that she's marrying "Bipper's Daddy". (Bipper is how she pronounces "Romper"). I haven't met Romper's Daddy, but here's Romper:


Romper's a really good monkey, so I'm sure the "man" who raised him is a good catch... but it makes me wonder, will that make me Romper's Grandma?

What I'm doing right

Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary has been examining the experience of being a mom on her blog recently. She has become tired of focusing on her failures as a mom and instead wants to focus on her successes. She has invited her readers to join her by writing a list of all the things they are doing right as a mom. Here's my (rather random) list.

Nutrition - I work hard to ensure my family is eating a healthy, balanced diet most of the time, but I also allow us a treat, or an easy meal every so often.

Relationship with God - I have recognized that a knowledge of God is innate and just needs to be guided in order for it to flourish. I try to encourage my kids to see God's hand in everything.

Health - Being a nurse can often make me a really bad mommy, so I consciously make an effort to just be a mommy to my kids. I don't freak out about germs, or every little symptom. It means that I give my doctor mommy answers instead of nurse answers, but it keeps me from worrying about everything.

Instinct - I seek out good information about parenting, children's products, behaviour etc., but at the end of the day, I trust my instinct with my kids. I'm planning another post about how I have trusted my instinct with encouraging independence in my daughter and now it is paying off.

Daddy - I recognize that his role is different than mine and respect that he'll do things differently than I do, and that's ok.

Routines - I have never tried to force a routine or schedule on my children. Instead, I have developed and adapted routines based on their needs. I defend their routines when I can see that they need the security, and let the routines slide every so often so that they can adapt to changing situations, but only when I know they can handle it.

Education - I try to teach based on what my kids are interested in, not just based on what I want my kids to know. I have another post brewing about this one. I also try most of all to teach by example.

Safety - I make my kids safety a top priority. I refuse to compromise on car seat safety, crib safety, household safety. I never let convenience come ahead of their safety.

Popcorn - I make the best darn popcorn in the world (or so I've been told).

Self-control - I maintain an incredible level of self-control, even when I'm sleep-deprived, frustrated, haven't-had-a-break-in-weeks-about-to-go-crazy. Sometimes I yell, but lots of times I don't yell when I really want to. And when I feel like I might lose control and hurt them, I make sure they are safe and take a few minutes to calm myself.

Discipline - I make an effort to understand the reason behind my kids' behaviour so that I can guide them appropriately. I have learned to discipline only when I am calm, which often means my daughter gets a time out first, while I talk to God about what I need to do to correct her behaviour.

Honesty - I try to be really honest and open with other moms about my experience of being a mom. Mommying can be a really lonely job and we need each other to commiserate together and to encourage each other.


That's all I've got for now. And if you are thinking I'm patting myself on my back a little too much here, I've got a list 10 times as long in my head about what I'm doing wrong. But focusing on that one isn't going to make me a better mommy, now is it?

Some good news for once

SIGH!

(That's me heaving a big sigh of relief.)

Five weeks ago, when I was feeding JJ, I found a lump in my breast. I went to see my doctor, thinking she would tell me it was normal. Instead she sent me for an ultrasound.

I was freaked out.

I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to make a big deal of it. But I did make a really big deal about it in my head. I'm a worrier by nature.

After recently losing our friend Con to cancer, I was understandably nervous. Not nervous for me really, but nervous for my family. I couldn't bear to see them suffer like I knew they would. (Because they like me. At least I think they do. Well, most of them.)

Yesterday, I finally had my ultrasound. Up on the wall was a notice saying that the technician couldn't give me the results of my exam. But she did. She said it was just a normal thickening. I still have to see my doctor for the final report, but what a relief!

I was so happy afterward that I went to London Drugs and impulse shopped for a little while. Don't worry about our bank account. Impulse shopping for me means that I picked up some hangers and some flash cards (I'm wild and crazy like that!)

Now that the stress is off, I am surprised to feel rather... uh... nothing. Or maybe even a little low. That has surprised me. I think I'm just worn out from carrying the stress for so long.

Or maybe I have a little survivor guilt. I mean, lots of people get cancer. Why would I be spared this time?

Or maybe it's just the usual let down after waiting for something...

Weird, eh?

Thanksgiving weekend

We spent Thanksgiving weekend in Seattle visiting my Dad and stepmom, Debbie.

Peanut-lover works long and late on Fridays, so we thought we'd try driving down Saturday morning instead. That was a really bad idea! We ended up spending two hours waiting at the border... not our idea of a good time.

We were both really unhappy about the situation and the kids were really feeding off our stress. Finally we just decided to make an adventure of it. Once our attitudes changed, we actually started to have a good time as a family, letting the kids pretend to drive and having a picnic in the van. And once we got through the border, both kids fell asleep, so I got to work 2 hours on KK's birthday movie.

We arrived just before dinner time to warm hugs and the smell of turkey dinner cooking. Mmmmmmm... turkey...

We had a great visit with them and even though I brought both cameras, I didn't take a single picture or movie the whole weekend. There was one time when my dad was tickling JJ that I thought about taping it to capture the moment, but instead just decided to sit and enjoy it.

Sunday night, Peanut-lover and I went out for a date night. Dinner and a movie. We haven't done that since before I was pregnant with KK. (We've done dinner, but not a movie). (Thanks Dad and Debbie!)

We got home late Monday night, full of turkey, and replenished with hugs and chocolate-chip cookies.

Recent Events... or why haven't I been posting?

It's been driving me crazy that I haven't had time to write lately. I have so many posts half-written in my head, but I can't find time to focus on them. So the easy posts keep winning out. I hope I'll get back into writing again soon, but in the meantime, I thought I'd share some pictures of some of the things that have been keeping me busy lately.

Some of you know that my mom has Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. At the end of September, we participated in a walk to raise money and awareness for blood cancer research. It was an emotionally charged event, seeing all the people with Leukemia (white balloons), their supporters (red balloons), and those who were remembering someone (gold balloons).

I don't really talk about the fact that my mom has leukemia much... mostly because it really freaks me out.

Let's move on.

I've also been getting out of the house, even in the rain (a big deal for me, right Dad?). We've been going to the library for either story-time or baby time, which the kids love. Afterwards, if KK listens good when we are ready to leave, we stop for a little while at the fountain outside of the library. And, yay! I love to take pictures in natural light!

The fountain is not actually that magnificent to this twenty-cough-year old, but my nearly three-year-old thinks it's pretty great!

And moving on...

Ok, see those two little teeth? Now he has three, which explains why I've been up with him, several times every night for the past week. So KK's naptime, which I previously was using for blog time, is now being used to catch up on a little sleep.

Now that JJ is crawling proficiently, he's using his new skill to get himself into trouble. He has figured out the layout of our home, and moves from one prohibited area to another. I can distract and redirect all I want, but when he sets a goal, he is determined to meet it!

He spends his day looking for something to eat:

Just in case you haven't found out yet for yourself, crayons + drool = colorful carpet. (Don't tell the Peanut-lover! He's been too busy to notice!)

When he's not searching for something to eat, the boy must find something to destroy. A case in point:

We will be finding a new home for this plant soon!

I have also managed to go through all the movie clips of the year and half the pictures, seeking out our favourites to make into our kids' birthday movies. At this point, I have narrowed it down to about 120 movie clips and 125 pictures for each kid. I will be spending some serious time trying to edit those further. We don't have three days to show the birthday movie!

On Tuesday, I met with my manager to discuss my return to work in January. I was delightfully surprised when this manager, who is new and doesn't even know me, worked really hard to accomodate the changes I'd like to see in my schedule. It all still needs to be cleared with Human Resources, but it's looking like I'll get the exact hours I want (one shift/weekend) without having to go casual (for which I'd have to give up my benefits).

I've accomplished numerous other little things on my 5-page to-do list, but still have much that needs to be caught up on. Nevermind that Christmas is approaching...

So if you've been feeling neglected, now you know why :)

I made top three!

On Sunday, we actually made it to church! Yay! (And by "we", I mean "I" because there have been several occasions lately when either Peanut-lover has gone alone because he is part of the worship team, or he has taken KK because I have had a horrible night and cannot fathom being awake).

When we arrived, I asked KK if she was going to go to kids' church. I fully expected the usual excited "yes!" and was surprised when she told me, "No. I not like kids."

Well, she went anyways. And it might be true that she doesn't like kids because in a group of kids that she doesn't know very well, she tends to play by herself. I'm not sure where she gets that, considering I'm such a social butterfly and all. Ahem.

Anyways, here is the drawing that she did with Daddy's help:

Since you can't really see the details, I'll fill them in for you. The turkey is a tracing of her (precious little) hand. On each of the fingers, starting from the baby finger, she has answers to the question, "What are you thankful to God for?"

Here are her answers in order:

1. Making Me (herself)

2. Making our house

3. Mommy

4. Family (for which Daddy admitted to prompting her)

But did you see that I made top three?!