Merry Christmas!!!

OK, lots of people Harmony has been asking for me to post pictures of my Christmas decorations. Before I show you what our home looks like, I feel I need to point out a few things:

• while not currently sick, this family has been sick most days of the past 5 weeks
• KK is at the age where she refuses to pose for pictures without bribery
• we have a tiny, tiny home
• my photography skills are more of the "creative shot" kind, rather than the "technically correct" kind

That said:

Our Mantel

Our "Skinny" tree

KK trying to stand still long enough so I can take a photo of her decorating the tree

May you find wonder in the little things this holiday season. May your family time be precious. God grant you safety in your travels.

A merry, merry Christmas to you!

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We'll be running here and there for the next two weeks, fitting in Christmas time with our three families, so I'll be blogcationing a little. Unless I come up with something absolutely amazing to tell you... I'll see you in the New Year!

Christmas and Santa Claus

We haven't really told KK much about Santa. We don't plan to teach her that he's a major part of Christmas, but beyond that, we hadn't really come up with a plan.

Then we watched "A Christmas Story" and "The Polar Express" within two days of each other. And we still didn't have a plan... because well, we didn't really think we needed one yet.

Then Peanut-lover took KK to the mall so she could pick out a pink present for mommy (is it wrong that I put some pink items on hold for them to choose from?) They walked into the food court and there in the middle was Santa Claus.

KK: I need to go see Santa Claus.

Daddy (thinking she just wanted the candy canes he was handing out and calculating just how long the lineup of kids was): I'll buy you a candy cane, let's go.

KK: No, I need to talk to Santa Claus. I need to tell him what I want for Christmas.

So they stood in line for nearly an hour waiting to talk to Santa. This is the little girl who is shy with even people she knows, so Peanut-lover wasn't expecting much.

But, she got to the front of the line and had a nice little chat with Mrs. Claus, then climbed up onto Santa's lap. She told him she wanted matching jammies with mommy (I know, right?!) and a barbie (which she later regretted because she remembered she already had one barbie).

Then a shocked Daddy paid $15.99 for the memory and off they went.

And now she wants us to leave out milk and cookies because that's what Santa told her to do.

We're working on a plan...

Break the Pickle

My brother taught me this game that I started playing with the kids a couple of weeks ago. I point my pointer fingers at each other and say "break the pickle". Then when they do, "tickle, tickle". I think it's from "The Love Guru".

They both love it, but JJ especially loves it! All I have to do is put my pointer fingers together and he bursts out laughing. He'll reach to break the pickle and then pull back, over and over, until he can't stand the anticipation anymore. Then he dissolves into the best giggles you've ever heard. He has a really great laugh.

KK and JJ playing "Break the pickle"

Yesterday, he put his pointer fingers together and said "Bri... bri..." He's playing break the pickle with me! Yay!!

JJ's pickle

I love this kid!

TMI: Note to self

Note to self:

Don't get PMS the week before Christmas. Stop time if you have to.

------------------------
Ok moms, here's a question for you: After you had your babies, and your, uh, cycles returned, did you find it hard to adjust to the mood swings again? Honestly, I feel like I'm 14 again and completely unable to deal with my emotions 3-5 days a month! I know I felt the same after KK was born, too.

Do these hormones even out again? I was pretty even-tempered before the kids were born, but now, LOOK OUT! I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for nearly 4 years straight now. 4 YEARS! I think my husband deserves a medal.

Conversations with KK: a pink what?

This is the first year that KK sort of gets Christmas. And it is so fun to keep asking her what she wants for Christmas. It gives me a little glimpse into what's going on in her little mind. But I really didn't expect this one.

Me: What do you want for Christmas, KK?

KK: It be pink. It be SO pink. (She holds her hands out for emphasis).

Nothing new here, everything she wants these days is pink. She won't wear it, play with it, acknowledge it... if it is not pink.

KK: It be a pink bafroom.

Me: A pink what?

KK: A pink bafroom. Like mommy and daddy have.

Me: A pink bathroom?

KK: Yeah. Like you guys have in your room. Beside your bed. I want a pink bathroom beside my bed.

Oh Lordy, she wants a pink ensuite. God help us all.

Busy Weekend, busy week

It's 2 am and I've been up for hours editing pictures, printing them out, cutting, sorting, dating... and since I'm responsible and intelligent, I'm heading straight to bed...

(ahem)

...right after I tell you about our weekend.

Saturday, we celebrated JJ's birthday. His real birthday is not until the end of the month, but since it is right after Christmas, and I'll be working weekends starting in January, I thought I'd better do it a little early.

I am WAY more relaxed about birthdays now than I used to be... and really all family events for that matter. I still have a long way to go though. Have I mentioned that Peanut-lover comes from a HUGE family? Oh, and I come from a little bitty, teeny weeny family? Well, family events stress me out just because of the sheer number of people there and the unpredictability of it all. But I get better each time. This time, I didn't start hyperventilating until Thursday.

Anyways, the party went well. I never have any pictures because I'm way too busy at the party, but someone else always manages to get some and then I steal them. But, sorry, no pictures to share with you today.

Even though Peanut-lover's family is HUGE, there are only two grandsons (out of 12 grandkids), so everyone loves buying boy stuff. JJ got SPOILED! Lots and lots of boy stuff. And I'm pretty proud of myself because I managed to reorganize the toy shelf to fit them all in. Nothing short of a miracle! My kids have been pretty delighted these last few days, playing with all the new toys. And mommy has had a hard time not joining in... but I need days like those.

Sunday, I'd had a really rough night, so Peanut-lover took both kids to church and left me to sleep at home. Being the responsible, intelligent woman that I am... I laid in bed for about 5 minutes. Then I got manic. That happens when I have lots to do. I spent the morning catching up on stuff instead of sleep. The jury is still deliberating on whether or not that was a good idea.

Sunday evening, we went to a memorial for Con. It would have been her 37th birthday.

Stop. 37. Sheesh. Not fair.

Her husband and kids didn't want to be alone so they threw a big party, complete with more filipino food than you can imagine, and a slideshow of pictures. There were maybe 10 pictures of Con's funeral out of about 200 pictures. But KK can remember, in detail, every picture. Today she dragged around a box with a baby in it, telling me the baby died. Then she wanted us to pose like in every picture of the funeral and even remembered details like the flowers Con was holding, or that we put dirt on her casket.

KK told me that I was going to die soon. I asked if she was worried about that. She said yes, and that she was also worried about the baby that died (the doll). She switched back and forth between real and pretend and try as I might, I can't figure out how she really feels about the whole thing. All I can do is just listen and try to read what she is thinking. It is so complicated.

Anyways, that was our weekend. How was yours?

Who's educating this child? Part 2

KK climbs into bed beside me and announces, "I not like boys everymore. I only like girls."

I ask her why.

"Because boys are gross. And them stinky."

--------------------------------
Where does she come up with this stuff?

I wonder if daddy is doing some education... again? I guess he's been seeing a little too much of this lately!

I think I've crossed the line

Today I was searching for some nutmeg in my baking cupboard. I had to dig around quite a bit because my baking cupboard is highly disorganized. And not because I bake all the time. I'm not a baking mom, but I really wish I was. So I collect miscellaneous baking stuff that I never use.

Before I found the nutmeg, way at the back of the second shelf, I found a single-serve grape jelly packet. How long has that been in there?

I thought all day about how the grape jelly got in there. Finally, it came to me. When I was on bedrest in the hospital during KK's pregnancy, I saved it from one of my meal trays. I figured it was just going in the garbage anyway, so I thought I would save us some money and bring it home with me. That was 2005.

*snort*

I don't even like grape jelly!

What do you think? Have I crossed the line from being frugal to being just plain cheap?

You be Three

Every year, for KK's birthday, we have made up a movie of all the best video clips and pictures of the year, put to music. This year, we wrote and recorded a song for it in our home recording studio. (And by home recording studio, I mean our walk-in closet lined with heavy blankets, a laptop, microphone, keyboard, bass, and guitar)

Here are the words.

You came into our lives
Took us by surprise
Changed us
Redefined us
We will never be the same
We don't want to be the same

You are innocent and free
You dance and you sing
You laugh and you love
You are honest and open
For you life is unrehearsed

You be you
You be free
Be the girl you were made to be
As you grow
As you take on the world
Know you're safe here at home
Forever our little girl

Uninhibited and free
Change for no one else
You'll spend the rest of your life
Trying to find yourself
YOU are who you should be

You be you
You be free
Be the girl you were made to be
As you grow
As you take on the world
Know you're safe here at home
Forever our little girl

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We debuted the song at KK's birthday party, during the birthday movie. KK was sitting beside her favourite cousin and when she heard the song start, she grabbed her cousin's hand and excitedly said, "You know this song? This one about me!" Then she proceded to belt it out at the top of her lungs the entire way through. "You be you, You be THREE..."

That moment in itself made all the hours of work we put into it worthwhile.

NOT a slow learner

This evening, I turned the corner to find JJ, sitting in front of an electrical outlet, chewing on one of the safety plugs.

I thought to myself that someone must have forgotten to replace it, so I quickly took it out of his mouth and popped it back in the outlet.

He promptly removed it from the outlet and popped it back in his mouth.

Crap.

I figured that one must be a little loose because it gets used all the time, so, in a swift the-hand-is-quicker-than-the-eye move, I switched the top one with the tighter bottom one... figuring that would buy me time to find a replacement.

He promptly grabbed the bottom one, and held it out to me with a smirk.

Oh Crap.

At his age, KK was considered a fast learner. One time being corrected and she basically got it. One burn on the oven and suddenly she was the "hot police" warning everyone that the oven was hot. One fall down the stairs and suddenly she was very careful around stairs.

JJ? Not so much. At first glance, he might seem like a slow learner. He keeps reaching for the hot oven despite having burned himself a couple of times. He keeps pinching his fingers under the door when he tries to open it while sitting right behind it. He thinks falling down the stairs is fun.

But I'm his mommy, and I know differently. He is actually a very fast learner. He just doesn't care. To him, enduring the consequence is worth it to have the experience.

And I don't know what to do about that.

One of us may not survive the terrible twos.

Conversations with KK: Naming her kids

KK loves to talk about what she will do when she gets big. I would guess that 50% of our conversations are about "when me get big".

This time, she wanted to talk about her future children.

Daddy: How many kids are you going to have?

KK: Five

Daddy (quite shocked): OH! WOW! ARE YOU SURE? (calms self) Ok, what will their names be?

KK: Ummm... Sheeshee, Jooey, Sheesha, Bee-awsh, and Wonee.

Mommy: *hysterical laughter*

Daddy: Bee-awsh? Are you sure that's a good idea?

(Daddy, having a tendency toward being a bit of a bully himself, is always on the lookout for names that could be made fun of in any way.)

Mommy: *hysterical laughter*

KK (indignantly): yes, BEE. AWSH. That be my little girl name!

Mommy and Daddy: *continued hysterical laughter*

KK (pouting): I not talk at you guys everymore.

Daddy: Ok. Sorry. If you want to name your little girl Bee-awsh, that's ok with me, I guess. What about (insert Daddy's name here)? Will you name one of your kids that?

KK: No.

Daddy: Why not? That's Daddy's name. It's a nice name, isn't it?

KK: I only have five kids, daddy.

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Just in case you think she learned that word from us, we do not say words like bi-atch in our home. No, we spell them.

Christmas Picture Attempts

This year, I tried something risky. I took the Christmas pictures of the kids myself. At home. In a makeshift portrait studio in my livingroom. With a point and shoot.

I'm pretty happy with how they turned out. Never one to hold in a secret very well, I'm showing you all my faves in the hopes you can help me decide which ones to send out to our relatives. (

1. (Actually was a practice shot, but I kind of like his expression)

2.

3.

4.

5.

And just to keep it real, here's what I had to delete a lot of before I resorted to bribery:

Oh, and Daddy likes this one best because the yellow chair annoys him. I'd have to crop it a little, but what do you think?

6.

I'm still working on one of the two of them together. There may be a LOT of bribery involved if I actually get that shot!

Mystery Solved!

Remember back two months ago when there were "stools" being made in our bathtub? No, not the kind of stools that sent Daddy running out, shrieking like a little girl. The kind that KK was making that were red and circular, with a button that went "beep".

Well, I might have finally figured out what she was talking about. For about a month, she quit making them. Then one day, when Daddy was bathing the kids, I overheard her making them again.

She squirted water in the cup, pumped in some sugar from the shower release, and put them on the edge of the tub to cook. Just like before.

Daddy asked what she was making. "I making foonies", she replied. (Foonies = Smoothies)

Ah, yes... now that makes sense. I much prefer foonies over stools, thank you very much.

6 Random Facts

Back when we were sick the first time, my new friend Nina at Juggling Mama tagged me in a meme. I am supposed to list 6 random facts about myself and then tag 6 friends. Ever since, I've had random facts rolling about in my brain and I'm finally ready to let them out! (I hope I can remember six of them!)

1. I reload the dishwasher behind my husband's back. Every. Day. I don't know why it matters, because I usually get annoyed and run it before it is totally full anyways, but I can't stand for the dishwasher space to be used inefficiently. It drives me CRAZY. And I really think my husband knows it and does it on purpose. He likes to torture me like that.

2. I heart crispy bacon... although I'm pretty sure my heart does not heart it. And not crispy like when a menu claims an item contains "crispy bacon" and then it comes and it's all bendy. No. My bacon must not bend.

3. Sometimes I get all frustrated with myself that I'm not doing all the amazing things I remember my mom doing when I was little. Making crafts, having super fun birthday parties, baking all the time. Then I realize that I was probably at least 7 or 8 when I did all those things with my mom. Not three like my daughter. I've still got time. (And please don't correct me if I'm wrong, mom.)

4. I hate the phone. I can't even order pizza without a mini panic attack. If I could do everything online, I probably would. And I probably would wither away and die from lack of exposure to the outside world.

5. I love to read. I especially love to read a book I can't put down. I love falling asleep reading. I haven't read a book since JJ was born. I read magazines by leaving them on the counter in the bathroom so I can read one paragraph every time I pee and maybe half an article when I brush my teeth. Reading blogs by iPod touch is pretty much the only real reading I get to do these days.

6. I love cruises. I have been on three now. Our honeymoon to Baja Mexico in 2002, a family ladies' cruise to the Mexican Riviera in 2004, and my mom's wedding cruise to Mexico/Carribean in 2006. I'm having harsh cravings for another lately.

Ok, so pretty much all the bloggers I read have already been tagged in this one, so I'm going to do something different. I'm tagging some of my loyal readers from the beginning, most of whom don't blog. So just leave your list in the comments if you want to participate. (Leave an anonymous comment if you don't have a google account and then just leave me your name at the end). And I can't stop at six, so...

Harmony
Emily
Hannah Nutwood
Kelli
Allison
Rebecca
Liz of Joel and Oliver
Mom
Dad
Debbie
Jeff

...if I didn't tag you, maybe I don't know that you're here?

Perfection

About five months ago, we went through a very challenging period with KK. Out of the blue, she went through a complete regression back to being a baby. No. Worse than being a baby, because she required even more attention than JJ did at the time.

She refused to dress herself, feed herself, talk properly, walk... everything but the potty training regressed. And every day, all day, I pleaded with God not to let me lose the potty training. She wanted me to put her "night-night panties" (pull-ups) on like a diaper though. (And after not seeing her bum in that position since she was about 20 months old, it seemed like an extra abnormally large bum on which to be putting a diaper.)

Every day, it felt like she regressed more and I couldn't figure out what to do about it. She was requiring so much extra attention that I basically put JJ in the jumperoo and left him there for a month. (He was happy. He loved that jumperoo.) I felt like something was going on with her that couldn't be solved by simply ordering her to be a big girl, although I did have "less patient" days, where ordering her was all I did. I was at my wits end.

Had this all happened when JJ was born, it wouldn't have surprised me. I was prepared for it all to happen when he was born in fact. No, it happened when he was 6 months old and completely blindsided me.

One night, I was discussing it with a very wise old man on the phone (Oh, hi dad!). My dad prayed with me for a while that night and afterward told me that he felt we really needed to just wait it out. It was the same advice that my mom had given me in more or less words. If we forced her through it too fast, we'd have to go through it all over again.

Then my dad said something that sparked a change in my perspective about parenting. This change in perspective took about a month to develop, but started like this (or something like this):

"Toots (yeah, go ahead and laugh), I know you really want to do this right, and you're trying so hard to do everything the right way... but I think that there might not be one right way here. I think you might just have to wait it out. And everything will be ok. You're doing a good job."

That advice resonated with me... and then grew into an amazing perspective change for me. About a month later, it suddenly dawned on me, I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS PERFECTLY.

I know, right? Of course I don't have to do this perfectly. But it wasn't until that moment, that I put it into words and started giving myself some grace. It was earth-shattering for me.

I'm textbook type-A personality, so I always try to do everything perfect. And it's exhausting. And that was fine when I was in high-school and had very little else to manage. But right now, I have a lot to manage. And I don't have to do it all perfect. Not that I was, by any stretch of the imagination.

That doesn't mean that I don't try to do my best at everything. But some days, my best is different than other days. And some days I have really not perfect days and I go too far the other direction. But most of the time, I'm good enough. And good enough, is good enough.

I'm not perfect. And that's ok.

TMI: Saving money and losing weight?

My family, we never get sick. Yeah, we get the viruses that are going around, but they never knock us off our feet.

Not so much this month. Yep, that's right. We got hit again.

Sunday afternoon, we went to my SIL's home to attend a private memorial for Peanut-lover's Grandma. By the time the formal portion of the memorial was over, Peanut-lover was feeling pretty rough. Like needing to sleep curled-up around the toilet rough. And we were still 90 minutes from home...

He let me drive, which tells you how sick he was because he never lets me drive. (And don't go feeling sorry for me, I never want to drive!) And he didn't even comment that I was riding the right shoulder, nor did he double-check my shoulder checks. He was too busy trying to keep all the body fluids in. (I'm sorry, but you should have known when I titled this TMI that there would be too much information!) We stopped every 15 minutes on the way home, which made for a very long, very stressful drive.

Peanut-lover was out for a whole day.

And then I got queasy. And not the good kind of queasy that means you're growing a baby (although it was a good reminder of how miserable I was when I was pregnant!) I was feeling pretty rough by bedtime on Monday, but as it turns out, I was not the next to get sick.

By 11:30, I had just dozed off to sleep, when I heard KK crying in the kids' room. And sure enough, it had got her. And her jammies. And her bed.

By some miracle, I managed to clean her up and change her bed without waking JJ. I got her a "barf bucket" and climbed into bed with her. But sleep was not to come for many hours. Finally at about 2 am, which was right about the time I started barfing, we clued in that some of us would sleep better if KK and I slept in our room, kicking leaving Daddy out on the couch, and JJ in the kids' room. And by some of us, I mean JJ. KK and I didn't really settle until about 5:30 am. We just kept taking turns barfing. And crying.

Every nurse has some thing that she can't deal with. Whether it be mucus, or urine, or pus, or gangrene, there's one thing for every nurse. For me, it is barf. I cannot watch anyone barf. I got to watch a lot of barfing Monday night.

Fortunately, this time around, I took my bff Harmony's advice, and got sick after Peanut-lover, so he was quite sympathetic. He stayed home until I could manage the kids on Tuesday, and then only went to work for a little longer than the afternoon nap. I finally tried to eat at dinnertime, but still wasn't able to hold anything down, so Peanut-lover became Super-Daddy and dealt with the kids so I could focus on not barfing rest.

Today, we are just working on getting our strength back. Oh, and catching up on piles and piles of laundry. So far, JJ has managed to escape this one.

If there's anything good to be found in this experience, it is this: I am down 3 pounds and we have saved a lot of money on groceries in the past three weeks.

Yeah, way to look at the bright side Peanut.

The chair

Yesterday, we received an urgent call from Peanut-lover's dad, Poppa. Peanut-lover's Grandma was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday with pneumonia and sepsis. They managed to fluid resuscitate her that night, but yesterday, she became fluid overloaded and was not expected to survive the night. She was asking specifically for us to come out, so we quickly packed up and went. We returned home early this morning and have not yet received any update about how Grandma's night went.

Most of the time we were there, I was entertaining my kids in the lounge so Peanut-lover could be with his family. The lounge had a large reclining chair that was controlled by remote. Several times during the night, I had the opportunity to watch my kids sit with Poppa in this special chair, while he patiently let them control the remote.

Peanut-lover comes from a very large family (11 kids, 6 spouses, 12 grandkids...), and we are the only members of the family who don't live in the same city as everyone else. So my kids don't really get much one-on-one time with their Nanna and Poppa.

It was really precious for me to see the bonding that occurred between them, sitting in this special chair with their Poppa. Going up and down, back and forth, wherever their little fingers told the chair to go.

I'm sure it meant something to Poppa to have that one-on-one time with my kids and I know it meant something to KK, but mostly, it meant something to me. It's easy in a very large family to feel forgotten. Thanks Poppa for showing me that my kids are important to you. Thanks for showing me that they are easily delighted in.

And thanks special chair for providing the place.

Conversations with KK: On being not fun

Lately, I've been trying to be a little more fun.

Why, you ask?

Because, I'm NOT fun.

No, seriously. I got it straight from the higher-ups: NOT FUN.

Who are these higher-ups, you ask? And what are their qualifications?

Well...

KK: Mommy, why you not go at work and Daddy stay home?

Mommy: You mean, daddy stay at home with you guys instead of mommy?

KK: Yep.

Mommy: That would be more fun, wouldn't it? Having daddy here all the time.

KK: Yep.

Mommy: Yeah, mommy's not as much fun as daddy, is she?

KK: No mommy, you NOT fun. (Period)

Oooohhh... that one stung!

We're back!

Ok, so that was quite a waste of a week last week. I've never seen any of my family that sick before.

JJ, who never stops moving, laid limp for 3-4 days. I don't think he even tried to move himself once during those days. If I put him down on the floor for a minute, he would just fall over onto his blankie and lay there until I came back. One time I came back to find this:

I love that he sought comfort from his big sister. I love that she so readily offered it to him.

On the Saturday (Nov 8), we held KK's birthday party down in our building's lounge. This was the first birthday party that I actually enjoyed planning because it was all about making it special for KK. But by about mid-party, I was so sick that all I could do was sit on the couch with my boiling hot son and wonder how I was going to make all these people go home. (That sounds horrible doesn't it?). Fortunately, my family stayed to help clean up because I was completely useless by that point.

Sunday, I was worse and then Monday, I was even worse than that. I can't even remember much of Monday, but I spent most of the day dozing off on the floor of the living room while KK played movie after movie and poked me in the eyes, begging me to stay awake. JJ was (rather fortunately for me) still sick, so he slept lots and if he didn't, I guess he must have played in his crib because I sure didn't hear from him.

Monday morning, I had managed to summon up all my energy to drag myself downtown and attend an appointment with my mom. I sat there dabbing my eyes and nose constantly, so much so that the specialist thought I was crying and overreacting about my mom's health. I was glad I went because I was able to clarify some things for my mom.

Anyway, since I had spent part of the morning away, Peanut-lover went in to work quite late. Before he left, I begged him not to work late because I felt so sick and asked him if he could possibly work on the Tuesday holiday instead because I would probably feel better by then. I was greatly relieved when he arrived home on time.

Tuesday, JJ and I were starting to feel better, but Peanut-lover had it really rough. He couldn't even stay out of bed he was so ill, so I took care of him and KK, who was starting to get sick. JJ was almost back to himself, so was requiring quite a lot of attention and energy, neither of which I really had yet... but somehow I managed. Peanut-lover ended up sleeping about 36 hours straight before he started to feel better, and even still he is coughing quite a bit.

Wednesday night, KK developed croup and was having such a hard time breathing, that we decided to bring her into bed with us. We tried taking her out into the cold night air, but it wasn't cold enough to make a difference for her. I probably watched her breathe while she slept for about an hour before I decided that she'd make it without a trip to emerg. That night was really rough, with her being so restless and Peanut-lover coughing so much. After repeatedly being kicked and rolled over by KK, I finally moved out onto the couch and got myself a few hours of sleep.

We spent the rest of the week and weekend a grumpy, miserable, oozing, coughing mess. We still have lingering coughs, but seem to be over the worst of it.

I hope this one doesn't get you (and I'm really glad that biological viruses haven't yet figured out how to travel through the internet). If it does get you, I recommend that you just climb into bed and stay there for a week. This one is no joke...

We're still alive...

We've been taken down by a nasty flu bug. It started with JJ last week. For three days he laid limp in my arms. Then he developed croup. Then we had to take him to emerg because his breathing was quite laboured. Then it got me. Then it got KK. Then it got Peanut-lover.

We have laid around the house for a few days now, barely remembering to breathe or eat. I haven't kept up with emails or blogs or facebook. I've basically been a glorified paper-weight... except that the paper I'm holding down is kleenex.

I hope to be back to myself real soon. Until then... please send kleenex and cough candies!

Happy Birthday Little One

Dear KK,

Three years ago, after the rush of all the family coming to meet you had settled, I held you in my arms and started to fall in love with you. As I stared at your tiny features, I repeated over and over to myself, "I'm a mommy. This is my baby. I have a baby girl." It was like I needed to convince myself that you were real, that we were real.

I had no idea how to be a mommy, but I knew you would teach me. You've taught me lots of things. I didn't know I could love someone so much more than myself and yet, I didn't know how hard it would sometimes be to set my own needs and wants aside to tend to yours. I didn't know how your world would wrap itself completely around mine until I wasn't me anymore without you. I didn't know how good you could smell or sometimes, how bad. I didn't know how far poop could travel or how quickly it could get me out of church.

That first night, neither you or I could sleep, with you so far away from me, laying in the bassinet beside my bed. It was hard to let you be away from me. Finally, our kind nurse let me bring you in bed with me and, cuddled up together, we both slept peacefully.

When you turned one, I had so much fun discovering your little personality. Watching you learn, always at least one step ahead of where I thought you were.

And then suddenly you were two, and boy, could you chatter!

This has been a difficult year for us, you and me. You have had to learn that you are not in charge. I have had to learn that even though I am in charge, I don't always have to get my way. You have challenged me and strengthened me. You have taught me patience. You have taught me silliness.

This year brought the end of our twosome. You have had to learn how to share me, and I have had to learn how to share you. I admire you for never, ever resenting your brother for taking away my attention. And I adore watching you love him.

Last night, we couldn't wait to give you your birthday present, so mommy quickly wrapped it up and we let you hold it while we finished dinner.

We probably could have bought ourselves another day just because of the excitement you had about your present being wrapped in Doodlebops paper. Finally we let you open it up: your own Deedee Doodle costume! (I think it's possible that mommy and daddy were even more excited than you, but don't tell anyone!)

I'm pretty sure we will never see your beautiful blonde curls again, but hey, you're rocking the pink hair!

Little one, I know I don't do this as well as I'd like, and some days we butt heads all day, and more often than I'd like, I fail. But know this: in my heart, I want to be the best mommy for you. I want you to know that you are delighted in, cherished, adored... loved in a way you won't understand until you have a little girl of your own. (And after I told you tonight that I want to be the best mommy for you, you caressed my face and told me that you wanted to be the best little girl for me. You already are!)

Happy 3rd birthday precious girl!

I've still got one baby

If you are feeling bad for me, with my baby boy growing up so fast, I want to reassure you that I've still got one baby.

I'll let you take a peek at her, but sssshhhhhh! I think she's sleeping.

Perhaps it's time to get her a new car seat?

(Just in case you are from child protective services and don't have a sense of humor, I'm SO kidding!)

100 things you may not know about me

As this is my 100th post, and because I like rules (even if they are imaginary), I am reposting my updated 100 things list. Yep, that's right. Re-posting. Because when I was new, I didn't realize it was supposed to be posted to celebrate my 100th post (and yes, I'm aware that the rules are imaginary... I like rules that much). And I apologize to those who have followed me from the beginning. I like you, but I also like the newbies.... and I really like rules.

1. My real name is not Peanut.
2. I'm fast approaching 30.
3. 30 really isn't as old as I used to think it was.
4. My favourite color is blue.
5. My best girlfriend's favourite color is blue.
6. I took french-immersion until the end of grade 9.
7. I gave it up because I felt lost in the school and wanted to go to school with my friends
8. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made!
9. I graduated as the "Top Academic Student" and "Top All-Around Student" in high school.
10. Both awards came as a complete shock to me!
11. I won enough scholarships/bursaries to pay for my first two years of University.
12. I started out doing a chemistry degree with the intention of going to medical school.
13. I realized that a career in medicine was not going to allow me to have the family life I desired.
14. I transferred to the nursing program.
15. I've been an RN for 5 years.
16. Nursing is my calling.
17. My work is incredibly challenging, but also very fulfilling.
18. I work with some great people, who care a lot about their patients.
19. I'm married to my best friend.
20. His real name is not Peanut-lover.
21. We've been married for over 6 years.
22. We met at University.
23. When he first saw me, I was wearing an orange shirt.
24. When I first saw him, he was wearing a red shirt.
25. We both still own those shirts, but he refuses to wear his (even though he still looks HOT in it!)
26. When he first saw me, I was reading the book "Finding the Love of your life". True story.
27. The evening after he first saw me, he told his friends that he'd found the girl he was going to marry.
28. They asked what my name was. He didn't know, so they called me Natasha.
29. Natasha is not my real name.
30. After a few weeks of stalking me seeing me around school, he got brave and sent a friend over to meet me.
31. Shortly after we first met, I told him that I was going to marry someone else.
32. I even showed him a picture of that someone else.
33. I didn't marry someone else.
34. Peanut-lover and I hung out at school for about 2 months before we started dating.
35. We dated for almost a year, then he proposed.
36. He was planning on waiting till our one-year anniversary to propose.
37. But once he picked up the ring, he freaked out and proposed within hours.
38. I knew he was going to propose soon, but I didn't think he had the ring yet.
39. We had picked out the ring together, then he left me in the car to talk about financing.
40. He told me they didn't do financing, so we'd have to wait.
41. I'm really naive.
42. He had purchased the ring that day.
43. He proposed with a ring.
44. I was too caught up with how pretty it was to cry.
45. I meant to cry.
46. We got married in May because I love the spring.
47. We got married one week after my final exams.
48. I skipped a week of Nursing school for my honeymoon.
49. It was worth it!
50. Peanut-lover is nearing the completion of his PhD.
51. In Neuroscience.
52. His educational life itself is old enough to drink alcohol, even in the States.
53. He uses a lot of really big words.
54. I have mild scoliosis. My spine twists to the right between my shoulder blades and to the left in the middle of my back.
55. Even though it is mild, my scoliosis causes me a lot of pain. I do physio and special exercises regularly.
56. I had part of my tailbone surgically removed 9 years ago. The coccyx part.
57. I keep it in a jar of formaldehyde. I'm that weird.
58. We purchased our first home 4 years ago.
59. When we first moved in, we kept "losing" each other in all the space.
60. Now we keep losing each other under all our stuff.
61. We live in 900 sq. ft.
62. It requires a lot of organization to have 4 people in such small quarters.
63. I don't want to have to clean more than 900 sq. ft of home.
64. I don't want to have to chase children in more than 900 sq. ft of home.
65. I have a 3-year-old daughter.
66. Her name is not KK.
67. She is obsessed with the doodlebops.
68. I spent the last 7 weeks of my pregnancy with her on bedrest.
69. I developed pre-eclampsia at 36 weeks and had to be induced at 38 weeks.
70. My labor was 2.5 hours long.
71. I had a difficult recovery which involved many nurse visits and one emerg visit.
72. I breast-fed KK for almost 21 months.
73. I was already pregnant when she and I weaned.
74. I have a 10-month-old son.
75. His name is not JJ.
76. I first felt him move when I was 9 weeks pregnant. He's that active!
77. I spent the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy with him on bedrest.
78. I developed pre-eclampsia at 35 weeks.
79. He was delivered without induction at 38 weeks.
80. My labor was 6 hours long.
81. He and I came home six hours after he was born.
82. It was much easier to recover at home, with my family to care for me.
83. I thought of getting pregnant again just so that I could hang out with my midwives more.
84. It was just the hormones.
85. I'm on maternity leave until January 2009.
86. I have only thought about work twice since I've been off.
87. I will be returning for one shift/weekend.
88. I enjoy being at home with my kids.
89. I enjoy managing our home.
90. I enjoy cooking great meals for my family.
91. I love ethnic foods, especially Indian, Korean, and Mexican.
92. I love photography.
93. I keep about 100-200 good photos a month.
94. I dream about taking some photography courses.
95. I dream about buying a DSLR camera. One day...
96. I'm a homebody and find it very difficult to get out of the house, especially with two kids!
97. I am very shy and hate having attention drawn to me.
98. When I try to speak out in a group setting, the words come out in the wrong order, or occasionally upside-down.
99. It is an endless source of frustration for me because I actually have things I want to say.
100. Hence the blog.

You guys have got my back, right?

I did something really crazy this morning you guys. Something I've been thinking about doing for a little while. But it's something I can't undo. See if you can figure out what I did.

OK, here's KK a couple of days ago:

And here's KK this morning (she refused to pose for a picture, so I'm showing you two):

Yep! I cut her hair! Aaaacccckkkk! Maybe a little shorter than I had planned?

I'm going to be in so much trouble when her daddy gets home.

But it was time, right guys?! And it looks really cute now, right?! You've got my back if daddy's upset, m'kay?

(And yes, she dresses like that every day)

He's how old???

Yesterday, Peanut-lover told someone that JJ was 10 months old. I corrected him and told him that JJ was barely 9 months and to quit rounding up his age! He then pointed out to me that he was actually only days away from being 10 months old.

10 months old!

10 months old?

When did that happen?

Anyone?

I just put away my maternity clothes (well most of them). I just realized that I'm not freshly post-partum anymore. I just realized that I'm not nursing him 8-12 times a day anymore.

Can I get off this super fast ride? I'd be a little more comfortable with something more the pace of a merry-go-round. Please???

----------------------------

JJ has a few things he wants to show off...

We've been working really hard on these:

Count 'em, there's four teeth in there now!

While I was uploading pictures, this was going on in my bathroom:

Typical baby picture. The funny thing is how he got to the toilet paper:

Yep, he pulled himself up on the stool. Funniest part of my day, hands down!

Here comes the bride...

For the past few days, KK has been running around the house, excitedly preparing to get married. She's got the dress, the tiara, and the flowers. She's all set.

She's even got the man. I guess she's not getting married to daddy anymore. Now she tells me that she's marrying "Bipper's Daddy". (Bipper is how she pronounces "Romper"). I haven't met Romper's Daddy, but here's Romper:


Romper's a really good monkey, so I'm sure the "man" who raised him is a good catch... but it makes me wonder, will that make me Romper's Grandma?

What I'm doing right

Heather at the Extraordinary Ordinary has been examining the experience of being a mom on her blog recently. She has become tired of focusing on her failures as a mom and instead wants to focus on her successes. She has invited her readers to join her by writing a list of all the things they are doing right as a mom. Here's my (rather random) list.

Nutrition - I work hard to ensure my family is eating a healthy, balanced diet most of the time, but I also allow us a treat, or an easy meal every so often.

Relationship with God - I have recognized that a knowledge of God is innate and just needs to be guided in order for it to flourish. I try to encourage my kids to see God's hand in everything.

Health - Being a nurse can often make me a really bad mommy, so I consciously make an effort to just be a mommy to my kids. I don't freak out about germs, or every little symptom. It means that I give my doctor mommy answers instead of nurse answers, but it keeps me from worrying about everything.

Instinct - I seek out good information about parenting, children's products, behaviour etc., but at the end of the day, I trust my instinct with my kids. I'm planning another post about how I have trusted my instinct with encouraging independence in my daughter and now it is paying off.

Daddy - I recognize that his role is different than mine and respect that he'll do things differently than I do, and that's ok.

Routines - I have never tried to force a routine or schedule on my children. Instead, I have developed and adapted routines based on their needs. I defend their routines when I can see that they need the security, and let the routines slide every so often so that they can adapt to changing situations, but only when I know they can handle it.

Education - I try to teach based on what my kids are interested in, not just based on what I want my kids to know. I have another post brewing about this one. I also try most of all to teach by example.

Safety - I make my kids safety a top priority. I refuse to compromise on car seat safety, crib safety, household safety. I never let convenience come ahead of their safety.

Popcorn - I make the best darn popcorn in the world (or so I've been told).

Self-control - I maintain an incredible level of self-control, even when I'm sleep-deprived, frustrated, haven't-had-a-break-in-weeks-about-to-go-crazy. Sometimes I yell, but lots of times I don't yell when I really want to. And when I feel like I might lose control and hurt them, I make sure they are safe and take a few minutes to calm myself.

Discipline - I make an effort to understand the reason behind my kids' behaviour so that I can guide them appropriately. I have learned to discipline only when I am calm, which often means my daughter gets a time out first, while I talk to God about what I need to do to correct her behaviour.

Honesty - I try to be really honest and open with other moms about my experience of being a mom. Mommying can be a really lonely job and we need each other to commiserate together and to encourage each other.


That's all I've got for now. And if you are thinking I'm patting myself on my back a little too much here, I've got a list 10 times as long in my head about what I'm doing wrong. But focusing on that one isn't going to make me a better mommy, now is it?

Some good news for once

SIGH!

(That's me heaving a big sigh of relief.)

Five weeks ago, when I was feeding JJ, I found a lump in my breast. I went to see my doctor, thinking she would tell me it was normal. Instead she sent me for an ultrasound.

I was freaked out.

I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to make a big deal of it. But I did make a really big deal about it in my head. I'm a worrier by nature.

After recently losing our friend Con to cancer, I was understandably nervous. Not nervous for me really, but nervous for my family. I couldn't bear to see them suffer like I knew they would. (Because they like me. At least I think they do. Well, most of them.)

Yesterday, I finally had my ultrasound. Up on the wall was a notice saying that the technician couldn't give me the results of my exam. But she did. She said it was just a normal thickening. I still have to see my doctor for the final report, but what a relief!

I was so happy afterward that I went to London Drugs and impulse shopped for a little while. Don't worry about our bank account. Impulse shopping for me means that I picked up some hangers and some flash cards (I'm wild and crazy like that!)

Now that the stress is off, I am surprised to feel rather... uh... nothing. Or maybe even a little low. That has surprised me. I think I'm just worn out from carrying the stress for so long.

Or maybe I have a little survivor guilt. I mean, lots of people get cancer. Why would I be spared this time?

Or maybe it's just the usual let down after waiting for something...

Weird, eh?

Thanksgiving weekend

We spent Thanksgiving weekend in Seattle visiting my Dad and stepmom, Debbie.

Peanut-lover works long and late on Fridays, so we thought we'd try driving down Saturday morning instead. That was a really bad idea! We ended up spending two hours waiting at the border... not our idea of a good time.

We were both really unhappy about the situation and the kids were really feeding off our stress. Finally we just decided to make an adventure of it. Once our attitudes changed, we actually started to have a good time as a family, letting the kids pretend to drive and having a picnic in the van. And once we got through the border, both kids fell asleep, so I got to work 2 hours on KK's birthday movie.

We arrived just before dinner time to warm hugs and the smell of turkey dinner cooking. Mmmmmmm... turkey...

We had a great visit with them and even though I brought both cameras, I didn't take a single picture or movie the whole weekend. There was one time when my dad was tickling JJ that I thought about taping it to capture the moment, but instead just decided to sit and enjoy it.

Sunday night, Peanut-lover and I went out for a date night. Dinner and a movie. We haven't done that since before I was pregnant with KK. (We've done dinner, but not a movie). (Thanks Dad and Debbie!)

We got home late Monday night, full of turkey, and replenished with hugs and chocolate-chip cookies.

Recent Events... or why haven't I been posting?

It's been driving me crazy that I haven't had time to write lately. I have so many posts half-written in my head, but I can't find time to focus on them. So the easy posts keep winning out. I hope I'll get back into writing again soon, but in the meantime, I thought I'd share some pictures of some of the things that have been keeping me busy lately.

Some of you know that my mom has Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. At the end of September, we participated in a walk to raise money and awareness for blood cancer research. It was an emotionally charged event, seeing all the people with Leukemia (white balloons), their supporters (red balloons), and those who were remembering someone (gold balloons).

I don't really talk about the fact that my mom has leukemia much... mostly because it really freaks me out.

Let's move on.

I've also been getting out of the house, even in the rain (a big deal for me, right Dad?). We've been going to the library for either story-time or baby time, which the kids love. Afterwards, if KK listens good when we are ready to leave, we stop for a little while at the fountain outside of the library. And, yay! I love to take pictures in natural light!

The fountain is not actually that magnificent to this twenty-cough-year old, but my nearly three-year-old thinks it's pretty great!

And moving on...

Ok, see those two little teeth? Now he has three, which explains why I've been up with him, several times every night for the past week. So KK's naptime, which I previously was using for blog time, is now being used to catch up on a little sleep.

Now that JJ is crawling proficiently, he's using his new skill to get himself into trouble. He has figured out the layout of our home, and moves from one prohibited area to another. I can distract and redirect all I want, but when he sets a goal, he is determined to meet it!

He spends his day looking for something to eat:

Just in case you haven't found out yet for yourself, crayons + drool = colorful carpet. (Don't tell the Peanut-lover! He's been too busy to notice!)

When he's not searching for something to eat, the boy must find something to destroy. A case in point:

We will be finding a new home for this plant soon!

I have also managed to go through all the movie clips of the year and half the pictures, seeking out our favourites to make into our kids' birthday movies. At this point, I have narrowed it down to about 120 movie clips and 125 pictures for each kid. I will be spending some serious time trying to edit those further. We don't have three days to show the birthday movie!

On Tuesday, I met with my manager to discuss my return to work in January. I was delightfully surprised when this manager, who is new and doesn't even know me, worked really hard to accomodate the changes I'd like to see in my schedule. It all still needs to be cleared with Human Resources, but it's looking like I'll get the exact hours I want (one shift/weekend) without having to go casual (for which I'd have to give up my benefits).

I've accomplished numerous other little things on my 5-page to-do list, but still have much that needs to be caught up on. Nevermind that Christmas is approaching...

So if you've been feeling neglected, now you know why :)

I made top three!

On Sunday, we actually made it to church! Yay! (And by "we", I mean "I" because there have been several occasions lately when either Peanut-lover has gone alone because he is part of the worship team, or he has taken KK because I have had a horrible night and cannot fathom being awake).

When we arrived, I asked KK if she was going to go to kids' church. I fully expected the usual excited "yes!" and was surprised when she told me, "No. I not like kids."

Well, she went anyways. And it might be true that she doesn't like kids because in a group of kids that she doesn't know very well, she tends to play by herself. I'm not sure where she gets that, considering I'm such a social butterfly and all. Ahem.

Anyways, here is the drawing that she did with Daddy's help:

Since you can't really see the details, I'll fill them in for you. The turkey is a tracing of her (precious little) hand. On each of the fingers, starting from the baby finger, she has answers to the question, "What are you thankful to God for?"

Here are her answers in order:

1. Making Me (herself)

2. Making our house

3. Mommy

4. Family (for which Daddy admitted to prompting her)

But did you see that I made top three?!

Who's educating this child?

Daddy Someone in this home must be doing some education with KK while I'm busy. Probably when I'm busy in the kitchen, cooking dinner, because that's what I'm supposed to be doing, apparently.

Lately, all KK seems to talk about is how HUGE daddy is.

"See that lightpole? It HUGE! It HUGE like Daddy!"

"When I get big, I have HUGE muscles like Daddy."

"What that in the picture? (Bulls) Them HUGE like Daddy!"

And it goes on and on... several times a day, some reference to how HUGE daddy is.

I guess this is what happens when you're married to a man who thinks claims knows he hasn't peaked yet.

Putting Mommy in her place

We got a new book at the library today. It's about a little boy playing with his daddy.

The whole time KK and I were reading it, she kept asking, "Where his mommy go?" I told her that I didn't know.

At the end of the book, the little boy and his daddy sneak up and scare the mommy, who is reading a book on the couch.

(Can I take a moment to dream? Mmmmmm... reading on the couch... a grown-up book... mmmmmm...)

Ahem.

KK asked, "What that mommy doing? Why she not cooking dinner?"

'Cause that's where we all belong, in the kitchen, making dinner. Sigh.

You can't get anything past this kid!

We were sitting at the table coloring, and I had the TV on for background noise. (I know I'm not supposed to do that, but when I spend all day deciphering preschooler code and removing chokables from my crawler's pathway, sometimes I just need a little grown-up talk!)

KK had her back to the TV and happened to turn around to look at her brother behind her. In doing so, her gaze briefly passed the TV, where a commercial for paint was on. Paint.

In case I had any delusions that she didn't notice the TV, "Mommy, why that girl not take off her shoes in the house?"

KK's Daddy will be so proud to read hear this (he only pretends to read my blog!). He's very big on the no-shoes-in-the-house rule!

Conversations with KK: You're making what??!!!??

OK, I've got approximately 10 minutes to write this before my kids are done with their reading movie. (I feel less like a slacker mom if I give them educational movies to watch, instead of letting them watch Shrek for the 1037th time). Mama's having a hard time finding any free time these days!

As part of the kids' bedtime routine, we bathe them most nights. I know it's a lot of work, but it really helps them settle to have the routine and also to burn off any remaining energy. They can be total crankpots right up until the bath, but once I start the water running, it doesn't matter how tired they are, they are happy again.

The last few nights, KK has spent the bathtime busily creating something, and I have yet to figure out what it is. Maybe you can help me figure it out.

She starts by squirting water into our large rinsing cup.

"Mommy, I'm making tools."

"You're making what?"

"Tools."

"What?"

"TOOLS!"

"What?"

"TOO-OOOLS!!!"

"Stools?"

"Yes!"

(When an "s" is followed by a consonant, she tends to put the "s" sound at the end of the word. But she also attaches an almost "s" sound to the beginning of the word, which is why I know that she is not saying "tools".)

I've seen stools made in the bath before, and they usually are followed by much more excitement and disgust than I'm seeing here. So I decide I need some clarification, "What are stools?"

She answers me by explaining how they are made, "First you squirt water like this. Then you put in some sugar." She pumps the shower release and apparently sugar comes out of the tap into the cup.

"Then you put it in the oven to took (cook)." She places a very full cup of water on the edge of the tub. I try my hardest not to stress about it. I have a big towel within arm's reach.

For a moment I am distracted by JJ crawling around in the tub. His teeny tiny bare bum, sticking up in the air is too cute to resist.

"Ding ding ding. Now they're done. Now we eat them."

I'm still clueless, so I try a new tactic. "What do stools look like?"

"They are red and little like this (she puts her hands into a little circle). And they have a little button and you push it and it go beep!"

"Hmmmm. Ok, let's wash up."

I guess I should be happy that these are the only kinds of stools that are being created in the tub right now.

But what the heck is she making????

For the record

To ease my guilty conscience Just so you know, I'm not as grumpy mean exasperated frustrated a mommy as my last post made me sound.

Most days, I patiently and lovingly answer KK's questions all day long without telling her to stop. It is only after approximately 7 straight hours of patiently and lovingly answering her questions, that I finally get exasperated.

Most of the time, I'm really patient and loving. I just crack every once-in-awhile. In between times of being really patient and loving.

And, let there be no doubt, I adore this little girl:

Why did we teach her how to talk?

Somedays, today for example, I really think I might go out of my mind. If I'm lucky, it will be a day when I'm at home all day instead of out in public where people can judge me.

Why would they judge me?

Well, you might judge me too if you saw a delightful little girl, chatting with her mommy while her mommy grocery shops and over and over you heard her mommy say, "Stop asking me questions for five minutes. No. More. Questions!"

I love that she is inquisitive and I love that she can talk so well. I love that I can get a little insight into what is important to her and what is going on in her precious little mind. But some days, aaaaarrrrggggghhh! Stop asking me questions! Just let me finish one coherent thought!

Honestly, I didn't realize how much time I spent thinking, figuring out, or imagining until I was constantly prevented from doing so, every 30 seconds times infinity!

Tonight, driving back from a too long ride to pick up Daddy from work and then running around trying to chase down some equipment Daddy needed, with JJ screaming the entire 3 hours... KK was asking why to every. single. thing. I. said.

"Is that an airplane?"

"Yes"

"Why that an airplane?"

"Because it is" (the answer to a lot of questions lately)

"Why that not a kite?"

Hmmmm....

Finally Daddy started pestering her with questions. "Why is that an airplane KK? Why isn't it a kite?"

"Stop it Daddy!" she said. "I'm not your mommy!"

Big News for JJ

I've done the calculations (will I get a mark for showing my work?): JJ has now been out longer than he was in! He'll be 9 months in a couple of days. NINE MONTHS! I've got to stop blinking!

And more big JJ news: he's an official crawler now! Not fast enough to get into too much trouble, but proficient enough to be un-cranky about it.

Did you see my extra couple of hours?

I'm confused. Ok, generally that could be said of me any day, but lately I've been extra confused.

Did "they" shorten our day by about two hours and I missed the announcement? Anyone know? 'Cause seriously, I can't figure out where my time is going these days. I feel like I'm always running a couple of hours behind and barely even getting the basics done.

Am I more disorganized?

Are the kids busier?

Is that other adult in the house changing the clocks around on me? (And what was his name again?)

Maybe since it is fall now, the days actually are getting shorter! I have so many things I plan to do beyond basic housecleaning (and I mean basic... just ask my mom):

- Peanut-lover and I are writing and recording a song for KK for her birthday. That usually gets done about 10-11:30 pm. We also need to review and organize the best videos of the year for her birthday movie.

- I'm trying to find time to post our camping pics, our Doodlebops pics, and various other summer pics here and on facebook.

- I have great ambition to spend one of JJ's naps/day doing a special "big-girl" activity with KK.

- I have some much thought out posts I want to write. The really good kind. The kind about being a mommy or realizations I've had that have helped me in this emotional journey of being a mommy.

- I want to print out some pictures to update the frames around our home.

- I'm supposed to be doing my physio exercises every day and have instead been replacing them with too much tylenol (bad nurse!)

- I need to schedule doctor's appointments for everyone... we are WAY WAY behind on those.

I could bore you with more things on my to-do list, but I think you get the idea.

So if you see those extra two hours out there, hitch-hiking or shopping for new shoes, could you pick them up and bring them back to me? They are not old enough to be out on their own!

We're in so much trouble!

These are not posed pictures. My nearly-three-year-old doesn't do posed anymore. These are all natural.

We are in so much trouble when she finally figures out that she can't marry daddy!

Things I Love Thursday - Ikea extendable bed

When it came time to move KK out of her crib, I got very stressed. I was already pregnant with JJ and could not figure out how we were going to fit two kids into our tiny second bedroom. I knew the only option would be to get a toddler bed. I was pretty sure, however, that my abnormally tall daughter was likely to outgrow a toddler bed before we were ready to move into a larger place. (I was right.) (That happens sometimes.)

Enter the Ikea extendable bed. Ikea must have a lot of moms creating products because they have some genius ideas. This bed starts out the length of a toddler bed, but extends all the way to the size of a twin. It just slides apart to whatever length you need and you add cushions that are about a foot long to extend the mattress part.

Here it is at the shortest length, which we used for a year:


We recently extended it a foot because, as much as I tell her not to, she keeps growing. Here's what it looks like now:


It's so perfect for us because, as you can tell, we cannot fit a twin bed in there:

These are the best pictures I could get of the room without removing a wall, which, incidentally would solve our space issues. Unfortunately, I'm sure the strata would not support us moving into the staircase next to our apartment. (Take a guess at how much I love having my kids' room right next to the building's staircase!)

Another thing I love about the bed is that it can hold an adult's weight. You purchase the wooden slats that go under the mattress separately and they are very thick and strong. It is nice to be able to cuddle in bed with her when we tuck her in at night. I've heard that a lot of toddler beds aren't made to hold an adult's weight.

For sheets, we first used a stretchy crib mattress sheet when we had the bed at the shortest setting (the bed is a little wider than a crib). Once we extended the bed, we used a twin fitted sheet and tucked the bottom end under the mattress (which is the extra cushion), anchoring the corners where the two cushions meet.

Anyways, that's the bed I love right now... and hopefully KK doesn't grow more than a foot in the next year! While I try to keep my daughter from growing any more, why don't you pay a visit to Things I Love Thursday at Diaper Diaries to find out about more great products.