Mean Mommy Trick #347

Typical Shopping Trip:

Me - Kids, we need to Costco.
Kids - AWWWWW, I hate going to Costco! Can't you go when daddy gets home? Whine. Complain. Are we there yet? When are we going to be done? How much more do you have to get? Why does this take so long? He's looking at me! She keeps walking where I want to walk. My legs are tired. When are we going to be home?

Today's Shopping Trip:

Me - Kids, we are almost out of toilet paper. 

Kids - *disinterest*

Me - But it's ok, because we have lots of trees in the backyard - we can just use leaves. 

Kids - WHAT?! *shocked faces*

Me - The only thing is that we'll have to go out and get them each time before we use the bathroom.

JJ - Even if it's an emergency??!

Me - Yes, because if the leaves dry out, they'll just crumble.

KK - *tears* 

Me - Or.... *dramatic pause*

Kids - What?! What?!

Me - There's only one other thing we could do... We could go to Costco.

Kids - *jumping up and down* YES! Let's go to Costco!! PLEASE! Can we go to Costco instead?!

Me - yeah, I guess that's probably better ;)

#winwin

KK's flower and KK's grandma

I know I owe a huge update... there are so many amazing stories that have come with this move to Baltimore. This is just one of them.

KK and her Grandma

Most of you know that my mom has leukemia and had a stem cell transplant in April. She came out to see us in March, just before she was hospitalized. We were in the process of getting the garden started, so she bought the kids each an egg pot with flower seeds inside.

JJ's marigold grew one plant quickly. KK's was a few days behind, but soon we saw five little pansies pushing their way up through the soil. The kids were so excited to see the changes in their little plants each day!

At the same time, my mom was preparing for her transplant and her health was constantly on my mind, and in the kids' prayers. I was surprised to find myself ultra-sensitive about anything having to do with my mom.

Just before my mom was to have her transplant, Peanut-lover found me bawling at the kitchen sink. While closing my window, I had knocked KK's flower pot into the sink, where it had shattered.  Since this was a gift from my mom, I completely fell apart when I broke it.

I managed to find one little seedling in the sink that looked like it had a chance, and replanted it. But I didn't tell my little girl for a few days. I just hoped.

When I finally told KK what had happened, she was a little upset, but it looked like the little plant had a chance at survival, so she wasn't too concerned.

Though the stem of that little plant was broken, it somehow managed to survive.

KK's surving pansy

It didn't take KK long to see that her brother's flower was way ahead of her little broken flower. She tried to be happy for him when we found the first marigold bud, but I could see the disappointment when she looked at her little flower. It was still just a bent stem with a couple of leaves.

JJ's first marigold bud

So I told her that her little flower was like Grandma. Just as Grandma was broken and needed doctors to help her get better, her flower had been broken, but we rescued it and took care of it. Though its recovery would be slow, one day, her little flower would bloom. Just like Grandma.

Soon, instead of being jealous of her brother's marigold and its many blooms, she excitedly watched to see what would happen with her little flower.

Excited to see that her flower is growing!

This is as close as JJ would get to posing with his marigold

Earlier this week, I called her out to the deck:

Examining her pansy

 To see this:

First pansy bud!

 KK's Grandma flower was ready to bloom!

And now:



 But because this little flower was broken, it wants to grow like this:

 So, just like Grandma, we give it a little support. And in its own time, it has bloomed.

Soon, Grandma will too.



Comfort items

Both my kids have their comfort items. That special thing they need to calm them when they are sleepy or upset.

JJ's is his blankie. It's a knitted blanket that my Grandma actually made for KK, and somehow JJ got really attached to. Now we don't go anywhere without it. He can be instantly calmed just on the sight of his blankie. You can see the change in him the moment he recognizes it. It's almost like the blankie is a person the way he interacts with it (him? her?).

When I realized he was attached to this blankie, I asked my Grandma to make up a smaller version of it for us to carry around with us. It gets a little challenging to bring a crib-sized blankie everywhere we go. But he instantly rejected the "mini-blankie" so his large blankie gets dragged everywhere.

Washing his blankie is 45 minutes of intense stress for the little guy and requires mommy to be extra creative with play until we hear the magic sound of the dryer buzzer.

KK's comfort item, however, is always with me. I can't forget it anywhere. It gets cleaned once-a-day whether I plan it or not. She can find it in her sleep, although she must come to our room to get it.

What is this comfort item?

My belly button, or "button tummy", of course. For nearly three years now, she has comforted herself by rubbing and poking my belly button. Before she can go to sleep at night, she must let each finger spend some time with my belly button. If she gets injured or has her feelings hurt, my belly button can fix the pain.

It's magic like that, sigh...

Conversations with KK: Looking on the bright side

The kids and I are playing Polly Pockets, or "Pollies" as we call them.

Mommy: KK, you seem to be missing the matches to a few of these shoes *eyes JJ suspiciously*. Maybe we should throw these ones away, since they aren't any good anymore.

KK: No, that's ok. I'll just take the leg off my Polly. Then she'll only need one.

If only all of life's problems could be fixed so easily!

Conversations with KK: Random bits

(Why is it that I only seem to find time to write when I'm working a night shift? It might be because my patients don't pull each others hair... or because they don't try to remove the keys from my keyboard... or maybe because they don't sneak off with markers to write on carpet when I'm distracted... or it might be because they don't bite...)

KK has been saying all kinds of cute things lately. Of course, it is 3:30 am, so most of them have flown out of my head at the moment, but here are a couple:

Daddy was getting his hair cut a few weeks ago, and I asked the kids if they thought daddy would look more handsome when his hair was done. KK replied, "No. He can't look more handsome. Daddy is always handsome. He never changes."
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While I was busy packing for our recent trip to Mexico, KK was busy doing things that she is not allowed to do. When I found out what she was doing, she tried to hide it from me, eventually escalating the situation to a full-blown tantrum and hour-long episode. When she was finally calm enough to talk, I told her that it doesn't matter if mommy can't see if she's doing something wrong, because God can still see it. She gasped and said, "Did God tell you what I was doing?"
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And JJ, well he's two. Just about anything he says these days is cute. Especially if he's getting in trouble...

I couldn't even remember my password

Oh hello. It's been a while hasn't it?

It is currently 4:45 am and I am at work and finally, I have found some time to spend with my blog.

It has been so long, that I couldn't even remember how to log in. Ugh. What a great journal this has turned out to be.

How about we start with a little update on each of the family members, starting with the little one:

JJ. Oh, how I adore this child. He is, at all times, the dictionary definition of cuteness, stubborness, persistence, and crazy dancing. This month, he'll be two and in the past month, he has reached some pretty big milestones.

He's starting to use many words now, and even string some of them together. Up until very recently, he has shown a definite preference for non-verbal communication. Then suddenly, he started calling us Mommy and Daddy (instead of mama and dada) and very quickly, he's gained many new words. My current favourite is his version of snuggle: nuckle.

Oh, that reminds me. He is the funniest snuggler. It just does not come naturally to him (which is weird because his father is SO affectionate. Ahem.) For example, the other night he calls me into his room. "Mommy?", he asks in his little voice with the exaggerated uptone of the question. "Mommy, nuckle." And he gives me that look, with the pouty little lip. The look with which he will always be able to manipulate me. I climb in beside him and he lays his head on my collarbone. No, that's not comfortable, so he puts his head on my chin, but then his body is hanging off awkwardly, so that only lasts 13 seconds. Next he lays his head on my hip, with his butt right in my face. I wait to see what he will do, but he can't figure out where to put his legs... and on it goes.

Yesterday, he told me that he's not a baby anymore ("baby" while shaking his head no), but is instead a "bick booooyyyyy". Which is appropriate since we moved him into a big boy bed not quite a month ago. I will post pictures soon. It might help to nag me. So far, the transition has been much less difficult than I'd anticipated, although he also figured out how to open doors three days after switching beds. And so, mornings are starting a little earlier around here, which you'd think would lead to more time for me to do stuff... but not so much because you see, there's the third milestone that he has reached...

Potty training. I really didn't even expect to start training this one until he was three. If he doesn't want to do something, there is no WAY on earth anyone can coerce him. But then he gained a new love for being naked. And skills. Boy, has he got stripping skills. I told him if he wanted to be naked, he had to try peeing on the potty. And he did. Suddenly and unexpectedly, I was thrust right into what has, so far, been fairly successful potty training. Which is horrible timing, considering that over Christmas, we will be spending two weeks driving here, there, and everywhere. So my little guy spends his time at home running around in Spiderman underwear, and I spend my time watching his cues and ready to drop everything at the announcement of the need for the "piepie" (potty).

And how about KK? What has she been up to?

KK turned four in November, and I have decided that I really like four. It seems we are finally starting to see some consistent result from all the work we put into two and three and she has developed into a very caring, loving, obedient, gentle little girl.

I'm not saying that she can't throw a mighty temper tantrum if she wants to, because she sure can. But they are pretty rare these days.

She spends her time playing barbies, polly pockets, dolls, and trains. She loves social play. I can never keep straight who she is pretending to be. A princess, a baby, a mommy, a nurse, a fairy, a patient. She loves to pretend she's a grown-up. Quite often she pretends she is the mommy, and I am the grandma, so I spend all day answering to grandma. I really do think I'm too young to be a grandma, although I'm sure Peanut-lover would tell you differently.

KK loves to learn and she regularly pulls out her "school work" and practices her letters. She surprised me last week by being able to recognize many words by sight: my name, Mommy, Daddy, love, her name, JJ's name, to, and from. She also can write words just from hearing me spell them out for her. She's learning how to sound out words too. All this with very little intentional teaching from me. She just works it into her play. She loves to spell her name and I'm quite sure that nearly every sheet of paper in the house has her name scribbled on it. I love how she writes the "e" backwards and sometimes puts the "y" in the wrong place.

I go back and forth about whether we will register her in preschool for a few months. She has all the readiness skills for kindergarten (even her phone number and address memorized) and I'm not eager to push her in the area of academics because I know she will so soon get caught up in pushing herself. I want her to be free and playful for as long as possible. I know she would love it though, and so I revisit the idea regularly.

I love this little girl so much. I fail her so often but she is so forgiving. Sometimes she tells me that I need to ask Jesus to help me be a better mommy (and I do, oh how I do), but most of the time, she tells me that I'm the best mommy. I know I'm not the best mommy. I struggle with her because I am learning on her. I'm not very patient. I forget to be present. But I know I'm doing a pretty good job. I try as often as possible to be conscious in my parenting. And when I fail, I own up to it right away and ask for forgiveness. KK tells me that she will always forgive me. Am I blessed, or what?

Well, this was going to be a full update on all the goings on in the weenut household, but I have been writing for an hour (stopping only to check an IV, suction a patient, and answer a call bell) and now I must get on to my 6 am work. One more hour and then I can head home to sleep and do it all again tonight. Who knows? Maybe I'll even have time to write the second half of this post!

Over and out.

(hopefully not for long)

What married people do

There's something going on in our home, and it's downright disturbing.

It's not us. It's the barbies. They keep getting married.

And then, they keep doing what married people do.

I know you don't think you need any more details than that, but I think you do. So let me set the scene for you:

I can hear KK playing happily in her bedroom. It's been a while since I've heard from her, so I figure I'd better check in on her. I open the door and...

*Gasp*

They're at it again.

Ken and Barbie are wrapped up in each others' arms, their faces just millimeters (Barbie inches) away from each other.

KK looks up and informs me that they have just gotten married. And now they will proceed to do what married people do. For the rest of eternity.

With their faces poised in an about-to-kiss position, they SING love songs to each other. For hours and hours.

They must have awesome toothpaste.

Every day, for hours on end, KK's barbies get married and then spend the rest of their lives, wrapped in each others' arms, singing to each other.

Because that's what married people do.

KK knows, because clearly she's learned from the best. If you've ever been to our home, I'm sure you know just how true that is!













ahem ;)

Conversations with KK: thoughts on God and birthdays

The other day, KK was trying to tell me that she didn't need a nap (for the 47th time). I'd heard enough so I told her to tell it to God.

So she bowed her little head and prayed, "God, I'm NOT TIRED! Amen".

She learned about unanswered prayer that day... momma doesn't give up her nap that easily!

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A week ago, I bought KK a calendar so that she could start to learn about days of the week and anticipate upcoming events. We marked her November birthday on there and now it's all she talks about.

She wants a princess party with only girls, but she might let daddy in if he dresses like a prince. There must be balloons and bubbles. She changes her mind about the cake every 24 seconds. (I think the latest is a princess castle).

But the best part is her gift wishlist. She wants rain glasses (I've never hear of them, and she may have invented them, but apparently, they keep the rain out of your eyes), and a water fountain. As in the big outdoor type that makes her do this:

...and this:

I have a feeling we have many more years of "Princess" requests ahead of us. Remember what she wanted for Christmas last year?

Conversations with KK and JJ: tag-teaming

I love it when KK and JJ try to tell me stories together. It's like they tag-team or something. For example:

Mommy: Did you have fun with Daddy this morning?

JJ: DADA!!

KK: We went to the banana place.

JJ: NANAS!!!

Mommy: Go Bananas? What did you do there?

KK: We went on the slide!!!

JJ: SLIDE!

KK: I went on the slide all myself and JJ goed with Daddy.

JJ: SLIDE!! Boooom! DADA!!

Cute, right?

Chasing the girl and laughing at the boy

It has been hot around these parts lately. Dang hot. Yeah, I know it's summer, but it's been extra hot. Miserably hot. I have actually cried about the heat. Often.

So we've been getting out of the house as much as possible. That means I'm getting out during the day maybe every second day (very good for me) and Peanut-lover is getting us out almost every evening for a walk or something.

Last week, we headed down to walk along the water in Steveston. We brought KK's bike because she doesn't get much opportunity to ride it. It was a wonderful idea.

KK was moving so fast on her bike, that I had to run to keep up with her. Especially since every time she turns her head, her bike turns too. Oh, and she thinks that people are supposed to move out of the way for her. And she can't figure out the brakes. It got me quite the workout. And it felt great.

JJ rode in the stroller for a little while, but then started chanting "out! out!" So Daddy set the little guy free. With the sun low in the sky behind him, his shadow was long and right out in front of him. And it made him MAD! He spent the entire time trying to escape his shadow. And yelling at it.

I love this time in our life, with KK learning new skills so fast and JJ just discovering the world. If only I could freeze time.

Conversations with KK: Safety

Back a few months ago, I read some tips about safety on a blog that I think are important to share (if it was your blog, let us know in the comments because my brain is leaky and I can't remember where the info came from).

As KK gets more and more independent, I've realized that I need to be more and more honest with her about protecting herself in a world that, while mostly safe, has some very bad people in it. Of course I'd rather just protect her all the time and let her keep her beautiful naivety, but my arms can only stretch so far and I know my little bird needs to fly.

Last summer, we started teaching two basic safety tips:

1. Stay where you can see mommy (a subtle difference from "stay where mommy can see you", but it makes a world of difference in terms of her understanding and compliance).

2. If you get separated from mommy or daddy, find a mommy with kids and tell her that you can't find your mommy. (We've also had her memorize our full names and phone number).

We started asking her what she would do if she got separated from us, at every occasion where that might be a possibility, until she started giving us the right answer.

This summer, I read about role playing with kids what they would do in an attempted abduction. The best advice was to remember that we teach our kids that it's not ok to hit or scream, so don't expect them to do that to a stranger (especially not a stranger).

A couple months ago, I thought I'd just check with KK to see what she would do.

Mommy: What would you do if someone you didn't know picked you up and tried to take you away from me?

KK: I would ask them to please put me down.

Mommy: What if they didn't listen?

KK: I don't know.

Mommy: You would kick them as hard as you could and scream as loud as you could.

KK (very surprised): But I might hurt them or hurt their ears.

Mommy: That's ok. If someone is trying to take you away, you have to kick and scream as loud as you can, so mommy can hear you. It's ok to hurt them.

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We've been repeating this one over and over this summer and she's finally giving me the right answers, except that she still asks to make sure it's ok to kick and scream, even though it might hurt someone.
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This morning, before we headed out to the park, we had this conversation:

Mommy: If you can't find mommy, what do you do?

KK: I find a mommy with kids and tell her I can't find my mommy and JJ.

Mommy: Good. And what if someone tells you that they have candy and you need to come to their car?

KK: Hmmmmm. I should tell them that I need to ask you first.

Mommy: Good. What if it's a kitty that they have in their car and they say your mommy is too busy?

KK: I should tell them that I should wait until my mommy isn't busy and ask her first.

Mommy: Right. And what if they pick you up and carry you away?

KK: I should kick them and scream as loud as I can. But what if I hurt their ears? Is it ok to hurt their ears?

Mommy: Yes, it's ok to hurt their ears. Mommy needs to be able to hear you.

A few minutes later, a new thought occurred to me:

Mommy: KK, what if someone asked you to come to their car for candy or to see their kitty and they said that your mommy said it was ok?

KK (shrugging her shoulders): I would say, "Ok".

Mommy: But what if they were lying and mommy didn't say it was ok?

KK: I don't know.

Mommy: You still need to say that YOU need to ask your mommy. It is your job to always check with mommy first, no matter what they say to you.
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Why don't I simply say, "don't talk to strangers?" Because most abductions are not by strangers and sometimes we DO have to talk to strangers and the line of when it is and isn't ok is not clear enough for a child to understand.

Have you had a conversation like this with your child yet? If you haven't, please do. And if you have any other tips, please share them in the comments.

We all want to keep our babies safe.

Conversations with KK: on the phone

(I know it's Thursday, but I've got nothing for Five Things Thursday.... unless of course we changed it to Two Things Thursday because that's all I've got! If you participated this week, let me know in the comments!)


Lately KK has been pretending to talk to her "friends" on the phone a lot. Here's a conversation I caught recently:

KK: blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. (To mommy: I'm talking to someone on the phone).

Mommy: Who are you talking to?

KK: I don't know, I'll ask. (a minor detail apparently) What your name?

*pause*

KK: OH! You are my best friend!

*pause*

KK: You have any babies?

*pause*

KK: Four boys! Four baby boys. Awwwwwww.

*long pause*

KK: And how much your husband have?

*pause while Mommy's ears perk up*

KK: 20?! That so much!

Oh dear... anyone else think I missed a teachable moment there?

Through their eyes... and fingers

Several weeks ago, I was playing bejeweled on my iPod while KK and Daddy were drawing at the table.

First of all, KK brought over a few of her creations to show me.

I'm told, by my bloggy friends whose kids are slightly older than mine, that very soon I will be more than a head with legs and arms, so I wanted to record these while they last.

Why are we so sad in the picture? Because Daddy is not with us. (Both kids are especially attached to daddy right now).

Here, Daddy is with us, but for some reason, it appears that I am picking him up by his, um, chin and throwing him. I'm going to choose to believe that means she believes I have hidden strength. I love how JJ and KK are hugging. Or maybe they are scared because Mommy is throwing Daddy?

Once KK was done drawing, she asked her daddy to draw for her. And here's where the giggles started.

First, she wanted a picture of her on her bike, with Daddy helping her. So daddy drew for awhile. Then KK said, "Daddy, why you not wearing a shirt? Is that family talk?" (Family talk is code for stuff we only talk about in the privacy of our home.)

Wouldn't it be nice to have that kind of confidence about your own body?

And then, "Daddy, why are you wearing a skirt? Is that my skirt?"

(snicker)

Next, KK had daddy draw a picture of Mommy and JJ out for a walk. A few minutes in, I hear, "Daddy, what is mommy wearing?" "Those are big girl shorts," replied Daddy.
For the record. I don't wear short shirts like that, but I may be known to wear big girl shorts on rare occasions.

Finally, Daddy worked on a portrait of our whole family. When the snickering got out of control, I knew I had to see this one:

'Nuff said, right?

And there you have it. The latest art from the Weenut household.

The Difference between Boys and Girls, Part 2

You can read the first installment here.

I find it entertaining, educational, and awe-inspiring to watch how my children interact with the same toys.

Dolls

Since about when KK turned one, she has been inseparable from dolls. At any given moment, she will have one to six "babies" and often another in her tummy. She cares for their every need, tucks them into bed, tells them stories, names them, and teaches them how to interact with each other. She's a little mommy. Once, when we forgot to bring a doll with us on a trip, she actually toted around a bottle of shampoo as her baby for an entire week.

JJ, on the other hand, has been seen hugging a doll once or twice. He finds dolls are better suited for hitting things with (their heads make a delightful sound), chewing on, throwing, using as a stool, and hiding to torture his sister.

Trucks

Now, JJ is all over trucks. He is brrrrmm-brrrrmmming all day long, driving them all over walls, chairs, tables, and mommy. He notices every vehicle when we are out for walks. Loud trucks deserve a moment of silence and reverence.

KK also plays with trucks. She names them, makes one of them the mommy and then invents all kinds of stories with them. Yes, to KK, even trucks are dolls.

If I were the type to believe that we socialize our children to become either feminine or masculine, all I'd have to do is watch my children for a couple of hours to see that femininity and masculinity are built right into us from the beginning. The fact that I think gender roles are a good thing, well, that's a whole other post.

Conversations with KK: Someday

When KK gets talking about how much bigger she is than JJ, I like to remind her that one day, he'll be bigger than her.

It must have finally sunk in the other day because when I said it, she looked at me, surprised, and said, "What day? Wednesday?"

Well, maybe not Wednesday, looking at the size of him now, but I get the feeling it'll be sooner than any of us are ready for it!

He just can't win

No matter how late KK goes to bed, she always wakes up in time to join Peanut-lover for breakfast. It doesn't matter when he gets up, she always seems to wake up at the same part of his morning routine and comes in the bedroom to find him. Even when we got home late last Sunday night and didn't get the kids settled until around midnight (and I foolishly stayed up late thinking I was guaranteed a sleep-in), KK was still up at 7 on the dot to join her daddy for breakfast.

Now don't get me wrong, Peanut-lover appreciates this special time with his girl and realizes how important it is to her. But every once-in-a-while, he just wants a little quiet time in the morning, because, well, breakfast with a 3-year-old is anything but quiet.

So today, he got up at 6 and was extra super-duper quiet. He oh-so-quietly shut our bedroom door and tiptoed out into the kitchen, holding his breath even, just in case breathing would wake the little princess up... and nearly jumped right out of his skin when he was greeted by a very-chipper-for-6-in-the-morning "Hi Daddy" and a bright-eyed, crazy-haired little girl just sitting there waiting for him and petting her kitty.

Poor guy. He just can't win.

Forgiveness

Until I became a parent, I never really understood my relationship with God as a father. I got it on an intellectual level, but never really saw how God sees me as his child. As I have been teaching, guiding, and learning to discipline my 3-year-old, God has given me glimpses of what I look like through his eyes.

Yesterday morning, KK earned herself some discipline for being disrespectful (yelling at me) and defiant (refusing to obey). After I disciplined her, we began the process of reconciliation. In our home, the process is not complete until she apologizes for her behaviour. Once she apologizes, I offer her forgiveness and wipe her slate clean. By that, I mean that as soon as forgiveness is granted, it is as if the bad behaviour never occurred. So I'm not still angry or hurt and she is not still being punished. (We'll have to tweak that a little when she gets older and her punishment includes longer term consequences).

The hardest part for KK is humbling herself to say she is sorry. And that's the hardest part for me too, because I want so badly to forgive her and be at peace with her, and yet, I have to wait until she comes to me.

Today, she kept trying to tell me she was sorry, but couldn't complete the sentence. First, she climbed off my lap and picked up her toys, watching my reaction to see if she was forgiven. Then she climbed back into my arms and tried to be reconciled to me, but still couldn't do it. So she tried picking up her clothes. I kept telling her that all she had to do was tell me she was sorry and I'd forgive her and we'd be right again, but she still couldn't do it. She wanted to earn my good favour instead of admitting that she'd done wrong.

Finally, after about 10 minutes of this, KK came and apologized to me. I told her that I forgave her and that I loved her. Immediately, we were reconciled. In that moment, the weight of her sin came off of her and instantly, she was a happy, dancing, laughing little girl again.

Isn't that like us? We think we can be reconciled to God by doing good. That we will earn his good favour by cleaning up our lives or helping other people. We keep coming back to him, expecting to be reconciled, but it's not there. And all God wants us to do is to tell him that we are sorry and ask for his forgiveness. It seems so simple. Too simple. And it is simple. But it requires that we come to him in humility. And that's hard.

But, oh, don't we feel free when we do?!

True Confessions

I have a confession to make.

KK will be turning 4 in November. Registration for preschools for 2009-2010 was held in January to March.

Um, just between you and me: I didn't register KK for preschool in September... (and I'm okay with that!)

Shhh! Don't tell anyone!! In this area, where many children are starting preschool at the age of two, I could be severely persecuted for not putting my child in preschool.

It's not that I have a problem with preschool. No problem at all in fact. I just know it's not right for my little girl.

Why not? Well, it comes down to independence. Right from the beginning with KK, I have recognized that I can't push independence on her. Well, I could, but I know that it would create an anxious, mistrusting child. It has come up in every single level of independence that she has achieved. While I have felt pressure from outside influences to push her to the next level of independence (sleeping on her own, weaning, socialization), I have always known in my heart that she would more healthily attain that level of independence if I let her get there on her own. And you know what? She has!

I remember the early days of motherhood, when I would get an anxiety-provoking email from Babycenter about what my child should be doing at each age. Let's take falling asleep on her own for an example. Every single email told me that she should be falling asleep on her own. So I would chastise myself for not letting her fall asleep on her own and vow to teach her how. Those days were pure misery. I would cry it all out to Peanut-lover and he would remind me of the same thing each time: I was her mommy and I knew her best. As soon as I would go back to reading her cues, peace would once again reign in our home. And so, yes, I spent 15-18 months rocking her to sleep every night. Then one night, she pointed to her bed and said, "In there"... I put her in her bed and she has fallen asleep at bedtime on her own ever since. She was ready. And you know what else? I treasure the memories of the nights I spent rocking her to sleep. I don't get to do that with JJ. He was independent from birth. Well, when it comes to sleeping at least.

I have been fretting about this preschool thing for months.... looking into preschools and not finding what we're looking for.... checking my heart to see whether it is for her good or for my own good.... trying to figure out where the money would come from.... praying for God to show me what would work best for us.

Last night, or rather very early this morning, I came to a conclusion for which I feel a great amount of peace: She's not ready. And I'm not ready. And that's okay.

Academically, I'm not at all concerned. There is plenty of evidence out there demonstrating that children learn best from attentive interaction with their mother. Socially, I'm not concerned. Our city offers free preschool where parents attend with their children on a drop-in basis. That sounds perfect to me. And we have church and a-million-and-a-half cousins as well. If that don't develop you socially, I don't know what will.

As for the adjustment to daily kindergarten classes, I'm not concerned about that either. She will be an entire year older when that happens and I'm quite sure, because I am her mommy and I know her, that she will do just fine. If not, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

The best part? I spoke with Peanut-lover about it this morning, expecting a lot of resistance from him. But instead, he fully agreed with me. Yesterday, he had the opportunity to see KK demonstrate just how much independence she has developed when she made a friend at the park, all on her own.

Oh, and if anyone asks me if she's in preschool (which people have been doing for 2 years), I now have my answer: We're homeschooling :)

Just because I never want to forget...

Yesterday morning afternoon, I was about to climb into the shower and KK was sitting on the toilet (just keepin' it real here, people). I wiped her bum and she leaned up against my belly, which, let's be honest, isn't the most favourite part of my body.

"Mommy, I luuuuuuvvv you sooooooooo much."

Then rubbing her head all over my belly, "You so soft and comfy. I love to cuddle you."

Ah, who needs tight abs. Am I right?

Conversations with KK: Boys are Gross!

KK and I are having our bedtime snuggle-chat and talking about tomorrow:

KK: Us going to have a girls' day tomorrow. Just KK and mommy. Just girls. No boys. 'Cause boys is gross! I not like boys.

Mommy: Does that mean you won't ever get married and you'll always live with mommy and daddy?

KK: No. One day I'll get a husband. My daddy is going to pick one for me. And his hair going to be SO CRAZY!

Hmmmmm... so, are we talking crazy like this?

Or more like this?


Or perhaps, more like this?

Just wonderin'

Another time, we are walking into the girls' bathroom and KK tells me why we have to use a girls' bathroom:

KK: We use a girls' bafroom because boys is gross (true). All boys is gross.

Mommy: Well, not all boys are gross. It's just any boys who want to kiss you that are gross.

KK: Yeah. Them gross. Smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

(Can I get an Amen?)