In my relationships with other moms, whether through personal contact, facebook, mommy blogs or whatever, one common thread seems to tie most, if not all, moms together: none of us think we're doing this mom thing well enough. Two recent events gave me some insight into why we might feel that way.
The first was at work. A co-worker and mommy-friend told me how much she enjoyed watching the movies that we make for KK and JJ each year. (These are 15 minute movies of all the best video and picture of the year, set to music). My friend told me that she felt bad that she hadn't made anything like that for her daughter. It kind of stunned me when she said that. I told her it was just our special thing, just something that Peanut-lover and I enjoy doing together, but I left that conversation feeling a little unsettled. I didn't share those movies to make others feel like they weren't doing enough for their kids, I just shared them because I wanted people to know my kids.
Later that week, we were hanging out with family and one of the moms started playing a game with all the kids. Almost immediately I started thinking, "I don't do that with my kids. I must not be as good a mom as she is." After feeling bad about myself for a little while, it dawned on me that that was just her special thing and just because I don't do it, doesn't mean I'm not as good a mom as she is.
I think we all have our special things, but I bet you if we tried, it would be hard to come up with a list. Wanna give it a shot?
Mine are:
- The movies we make for our kids
- Dance parties
- Coloring together
- My blog
- Fingernail painting
- Making up fun driving games
What are your special things?
I love this, and I remember talking with you about this too!
ReplyDeleteYou are so totally right about it being hard to think of stuff..
Our special things are
- painting fingernails
- baking
- beading
- playing PBS online togethr
You put this so well because here lately I have been feeling like a really bad mom. I have two boys that fight a lot and just overwhelm me. I have actually asked my husband if we could take a weekend vacation with out the kids because I need to separate from them for a bit. Yet, I also know how guilty I feel for this reaction.
ReplyDeleteWe do have special things:
We build trains and play.
We have family movie night every Friday
We sit and read books together
I also wanted you to know we are absolutely still friends. I was concerned that maybe I had done something since you had not been around in a while but I also know you take blogging breaks. Trust me I don't give up that easy!
ReplyDelete