Yesterday, when I was feeling all black and zigzaggy, I chose not to go into detail about the situation that Peanut-lover is dealing with. It's really not my story to tell. But I think a few details will help you understand the rest of my story today.
For two years, Peanut-lover has been supporting his coworker whose wife has colorectal cancer. Two months ago, they found out she was terminal. Three days ago, they found out that there was nothing more the doctors could do. Yesterday, they found out that she has only weeks to live. She is 36. She has two boys, 13 and 9.
Lately, my prayer life has consisted of a lot of "Why? Why? Why?" prayers. God, I know you can heal her. Why aren't you healing her? Why do they have to suffer so much?
The other day, as I was cleaning the kitchen, and going through another round of "Why?" prayers, God so gently pointed out to me that I get very exasperated when KK starts in with the whys. And often my final answer is "because mommy said so"... There are so many things that I can't explain to her and for now, my best answer is "because mommy said so".
That's the way it is with God too. I was finally able to view his position as a parent and how sometimes, his best answer is "because Daddy said so".
We don't know the end of the story yet. And we, in our finite knowledge, can't understand things to the depth that He does. And so for now, we just have to accept that He knows and wants us to understand, but for now, his answer is "because Daddy said so".
Really good post. What an awful thing for a young family to go through and it must be hard on Peanut-lover too. Stories like that really put things in perspective sometimes. I'll add them to my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you God that you know what is best, even if we don't understand. Thank you for reminding us of your love and showing us when are attitudes need changing. I'm happy to not have the responsibility of having all the answers and have great peace in knowing you do.
Thanks for the reminder and words of wisdom.
And now for the rest of the story . . . What a difference perspective makes when we know the rest of the story. Reading your post led me to think about how much better our own understanding of life and situations would be if we were privy to just knowing the whole story. Unfortunately the vast majority of life just isn't like that. Events and situations, both good and bad, happen to people all the time.
ReplyDeleteI think of a young couple that split after several years of marriage. Everything seemed so perfect with them and their family of 3 boys. Without knowing the rest of the story from the outside we would wonder why. However, knowing the rest of the story helps one to at least begin to understand. The loss after losing their much desired little girl who sadly died shortly after birth caused severe depression, a breakdown of communication, a loss of trust and loss of friendship and finally separation.
My mind often goes back to that couple. As I held the absolutely beautiful little girl in my arms I too cried out to God - why, why? Again, after they broke up - why, why? We, like you said in your post, live with finite minds and can't possibly understand all there is. As painful as some of those why's are - the rest of the story make such a difference in our limited understanding of why.
"We are one big family of people, trying to make our way through the unfolding puzzle of life. We are all connected to one another in the heart. Connecting with the ultimate source of love is possible through discovering the hidden power in your heart."
-Sara Paddison,
Hidden Power of the Heart
Growing up I watched several families at our church with young ones loose their mother (two from cancer and one from an asthma attack). Each family handled it differently, but to watch their faith grow as a family was amazing and such a testimony. God knows what He is doing. He gives us the gift of hindsight, but spares us the curse of foresight. It is so wonderful to look back on a situation when we were in total despair and see God's hand through it all. But if we had foresight we could too easily take our eyes off of Him.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for that post Ronee. And thank you for being open and honest.
ReplyDeleteIt was a blessing.
Crissy