I'm the type that hates having attention drawn to herself. I have an unusual first name, which I love now, but hated when I was a kid because I was always having to correct substitute teachers on the pronunciation. Which meant I had to speak out, instead of hide under my desk where I was actually quite comfortable. There have even been some occasions where I have answered to an incorrect pronunciation of my name, just so as to avoid having to correct someone and draw more attention to myself.
In crowds or even in small groups of people, I'd rather just blend in.
But I have a three-year-old and three-year-olds do. not. blend. (One-year-olds do not blend either, but it's in a different way. A passerby will smile at his cuteness and we exchange a knowing glance and it's done.)
Since I don't want to pass on this fear of being noticed to my kids, I work really hard not to let them see how uncomfortable I can get in social situations. So when I'm out with the kids and the inevitable questions start, I try my best to pretend there is no one listening to what I'm saying and just answer the questions as honestly as I can. But I am SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I know everyone in the room is listening. Three-year-old voices are at a decibel level that cannot be ignored (I know. I've tried.)
We have covered everything from what that man over there is doing... to what that little white box in the bathroom stall is for... to why that other kid gets to have a candy but KK doesn't. No matter what the subject, and not matter how brightly my cheeks get colored, I try to answer as honestly as I can. But I am SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
It's not that I'm worried about what everyone thinks about my answers, because I really don't care about that. It's just that I'm not invisible anymore. And I HATE not being invisible.
In crowds or even in small groups of people, I'd rather just blend in.
But I have a three-year-old and three-year-olds do. not. blend. (One-year-olds do not blend either, but it's in a different way. A passerby will smile at his cuteness and we exchange a knowing glance and it's done.)
Since I don't want to pass on this fear of being noticed to my kids, I work really hard not to let them see how uncomfortable I can get in social situations. So when I'm out with the kids and the inevitable questions start, I try my best to pretend there is no one listening to what I'm saying and just answer the questions as honestly as I can. But I am SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I know everyone in the room is listening. Three-year-old voices are at a decibel level that cannot be ignored (I know. I've tried.)
We have covered everything from what that man over there is doing... to what that little white box in the bathroom stall is for... to why that other kid gets to have a candy but KK doesn't. No matter what the subject, and not matter how brightly my cheeks get colored, I try to answer as honestly as I can. But I am SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
It's not that I'm worried about what everyone thinks about my answers, because I really don't care about that. It's just that I'm not invisible anymore. And I HATE not being invisible.
Just another thing they don't warn you about in the baby books!
Oh, we are SO alike in this regard. That's why I really struggle with the Tongginator's wardrobe choices so much - the more outlandish she is, the more visible I am.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. Andrew is 7 and still loves to perform for anyone who is around. I once had him in the grocery store (where I was working at the time) doing "break-dancing" (or his version of it) with a whole crowd around him watching. He is good at making me embarrassed because I'm so shy by nature. He doesn't even know what shy means! He will even break out in song like an opera singer in the middle of a crowd. His older brother is like me and is always humiliated! But, that is his personality and though I try to teach him appropriate behaviour, I also don't want to squash his spirit. He is a performer at heart and loves to make people laugh, not such a bad quality...unless the rest of your family is shy!
ReplyDeleteHow funny with your name. I also have an unusual name (Nina is just a nick name, not my real name). I had to correct everyone in school when they said my name wrong. Over time I just gave up and answered to whatever they said. It made things easier.
ReplyDeleteKids are so good at drawing attention from everyone around you. It doesn't get any better at 6 either.
Yup, I hear ya.
ReplyDeleteMy sister-in-law was at Target with her then three year old daughter. There was a little person in the check-out in front of them and Ella (the three year old) kept asking questions...
WHY is HE so SHORT? THEN, she said it...
MOMMY, Can I HOLD him?
WOW...they left.
I so wish they had filters sometimes.
LOL, my best friend's name is Rosjuane... no one can say it upon reading it =)
ReplyDeleteYou pronounce it Rose-zshan; think ZsaZsa Gabor... Because there's a little bit of z in that shawn;)
ReplyDelete